While more and more women (and men!) are opting to stay single these days, there’s still a stigma on the fairer sex to justify and explain why we’re still on our own rather than married and saddled with five kids. I’m not really sure why I should have to keep rationalizing my single status. Is it not obvious???
I’m busy, damn! Seriously, I work full-time in a career that I love but that requires putting in some serious hours in order to improve and move up. That alone takes up a significant portion of my time. Add in hanging out with my friends (a weekly must, no excuses), seeing my family, hitting the gym, cleaning my apartment, and recharging with some alone time and that doesn’t leave much time for a relationship (or dating in general).
My life isn’t lacking anything. That whole thing about not needing a guy to complete me because I’m already whole is a cliche but it’s true. I have a fabulous support group, tons of hobbies and passions, long and short-term goals I’m working towards, etc. I’m not against the idea of a relationship but I certainly don’t need one to fill in any blank spots in my life because there aren’t any, simple as that.
I lack the patience for BS. And unfortunately, a good portion of the guys on the dating scene these days seem to be full of it. My time is too valuable to waste on dudes who are either “just looking to have fun” (i.e. commitment-phobes) or who want to “explore their options” (i.e. sleep with as many women as possible) rather than working towards anything real and stable.
There’s plenty of time for love later. I’m in my late twenties. That may have been old maid territory back in the early 1900s but it’s 2019 and I’m spending my (relative) youth building a life I love and can be proud of. That’s not to say that those who are coupled up don’t also love their lives and their relationships but it’s not a priority for me right now because I don’t feel the ticking of my biological clock, nor do I feel like I’m “running out of time” for love. It’ll come when (and if) it comes.
It feels good to be selfish. Right now, I can do whatever I want whenever I want and I don’t have to consider how my decisions are going to affect anyone else. If I want to take a trip to France this summer, I don’t have to wonder if my boyfriend can get the time off of work or if he’d rather go to Germany. If I want to move to LA to take a new job, I don’t have to worry that my relationship is over because my boyfriend is loyal to New York. I do what’s right for me—who would want to give that up?
I’m basically my own boyfriend already anyway. Anything a guy could do for me, I’m perfectly cool taking care of on my own. I pay my own bills, treat myself to dinner or a random bunch of flowers, give myself pretty amazing orgasms, and I’m pretty good company if I do say so myself. If I’m honest, sometimes it’s hard to imagine what being in a relationship would actually add to my life.
Finding an equal is hard. It’s not like I haven’t tried. I’ve spent my fair share of time in the dating scene—long enough to know that finding someone who’s on my wavelength, who wants the same things as I do and doesn’t want to play games is pretty much impossible. I’m sure there are guys out there who would fit the bill but I’ve yet to come across one so I’d rather focus on something with more definitive results for now.
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