I’ve Been Waiting For The Perfect Guy To Find Me But I’ve Had Enough—I’m Going To Look For Him Instead

I’ve been waiting for the perfect guy for WAY too long, hence being single for over a year. It’s time to take matters into my own hands and start actively looking for the right guy instead of waiting for him to come to me.

  1. My perpetual single status is kind of my own fault. I love to complain about how I’m perpetually single but when I really think about it, the main reason I haven’t found a boyfriend yet is that I’m not even trying. I’m actually actively avoiding going out and meeting people, so it’s no wonder that I’m alone. I could probably change my luck if I just put in a little effort.
  2. I always seem to attract deadbeats and losers. Why is it that I always seem to attract the fixer-upper type of guys? They’re drawn to me like a moth to a flame. I have a theory that this tends to happen to girls who accept people easily. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt even if they’re a little weird, so the guys who usually get rejected by girls notice that in me and see it as their chance to pounce! Not into it.
  3. There’s nothing wrong with a woman approaching a man. In these modern times, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be approaching guys. I don’t even have to be so blatant as asking them out to dinner or whatever—there are plenty of things I can do to put the ball in their court. If I see a guy I think is cute, I should actually get off my butt and do something about it.
  4. I know exactly what kinda guy I like, which is half the battle. I’m tired of having to choose from the small handful of guys who actually approach me. Why not take my pick of literally any guy I see? Most of the guys who come up to me are ones I don’t end up liking back, so clearly there’s something wrong with this process.
  5. I need to do more than just put myself out there. I may THINK that I’m doing enough just by being out in the world, but I could be doing so much more to attract the right guy. I should make sure that I have an open attitude when I’m out and make sure that I don’t have my eyes locked constantly on my phone, otherwise, I might miss the love of my life walking past me. Just living my regular life isn’t enough, clearly.
  6. With online dating, it’s not that hard to do. It’s never been easier to find a man, especially with apps like Bumble, where the girl gets to pick the guy. I’ve always been a little wary of online dating, but I think I’ve reached a point where I don’t even care anymore how shallow it is. I think we’ve all reached that ultimate point of loneliness where we’ll do pretty much anything to get the ball rolling again and online dating seems like a perfect way to do just that.
  7. I’m constantly questioning the importance of a relationship in my life. If being in a relationship was truly important to me, you would think that I would do everything I can to be in one. As a woman, I’ve been brainwashed into thinking that it’s my job to just wait for the right guy to come along. He’ll eventually to rescue me—all I need to do is look good and hope for the best, right? I’m so over that way of thinking.
  8. Guys choose me for the wrong reasons. Most of the guys who express interest in me are picking me for the wrong reasons. We’ve all heard that guys go after girls because they think they’re attractive, but that’s not a very reliable measure if you ask me. I would rather be chosen because of who I am inside, so I guess it’s all up to me to be the judge of who I should be with instead of leaving it in the hands of a guy who only really wants me for my body.
  9. With effort comes reward. I can either sit on my butt and hope for a miracle or I can start putting my feelers out and earn my reward. They say good things come to those who wait but my experience has taught me otherwise. The only way to get something I want is to WORK for it. It may not be easy, but at least it’s a guarantee that I’ll one day get my reward.
  10. I need to put the odds in my favor. Right now, the odds are stacked against me. I’m not going out, I’m not talking to guys, I’m not putting effort into my appearance and inner confidence. If I keep it up, I’ll be single forever. I need to start taking action if I’m goning to change my circumstances.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.