I’m Single AF And For Once In My Life, That’s Exactly How I Want To Be

Being single wasn’t something I was always into or proud of. In fact, the thought of being without a relationship to cling to used to scare me to death. It took me a long time but I’ve finally learned to love it. For once in my life, I’m single AF and that’s exactly how I want to be — here’s why:

  1. I love the feeling of being truly independent. I live on my own — no boyfriend, no roommate, no parents floating my bill. I’m an independent woman providing for myself. I don’t need a man to depend on because I depend on myself. Once upon a time I thought being on my own sounded terrifying, but now that I’m actually doing it, I love the feeling of being completely self-sufficient — and I’m definitely not ready to give that feeling up.
  2. Right now, I just want to spend my free time alone or with my girls. I grew up with siblings, so I was never really alone. Now that I truly have my own time and space, I actually love being solo. I love spending time with just me, myself, and I. When I need company, I have my family, friends, and my dog to turn to. I’m not lonely just because I’m single. I have a lot of love in my life and I’m happy with where I am right now.
  3. I’m too busy focusing on my career. I have goals that I want to accomplish. I’m not just some girl who wants to marry off and sponge off a husband. I have serious career aspirations and work isn’t just work to me. I’m passionate about what I do and I’m at a really good place in my workflow right now. I don’t want to piss away all my hard work just because I let a man distract me. I don’t want to ever have that kind of regret.
  4. I need to figure out what I truly want out of life and love. The truth is that I don’t know what I want five, 10, or 50 years from now. I don’t know where I’ll be or what type of guy I want to be with. Right now, I’m figuring out not just what I need in life but what I want too. I deserve to be able to go after my dreams and find everything I want in life. Until I figure out exactly what that is, I’m better off single.
  5. I’m happy on my own. I used to believe that happiness came from true love. I thought that if I didn’t find “The One,” I could never be happy. I made my happiness dependent on my goal of finding love and that’s exactly how I prevented my own happiness. I kept putting it off, but over time I realized that my beliefs were illogical. I’m the only one who has the power to make myself happy and when I finally accepted that, that’s when I became happily single after.
  6. It was time for me to take a break from dating. I’ve spent way too much of my adult life in relationships. I need to figure out who I am without a boyfriend. I think it’s important to take the time to just be on my own for a while and really focus on me. I don’t want my whole life to be about finding a guy. I want more for myself than just a future husband, so for now, I’m going to let my love life take the backseat and put myself in the driver’s seat.
  7. I don’t really need a guy for anything. Before, I felt like I needed someone in order for my life to be good, but that feeling has finally gone away. Sure, someday I want to find a partner and settle down, but that isn’t the point here. I no longer feel needy. It’s so empowering to know that I’m successfully (and happily) surviving life as a single woman. I don’t need a man in my life, and I truly love that feeling.
  8. My life is finally drama-free. When I was in relationships or even just dating, my life was filled with unnecessary drama. Now that I’m single, I don’t have to come home from work just to make more work out of fighting with a boyfriend. I don’t constantly wonder if or how much a guy likes me and if our relationship is going to work out. For once, the only drama in my life is on TV.
  9. I love not having to check in with someone. I can do what I want when I want and that’s so freeing. I don’t have anyone holding me back. Whether I want to stay out all night or stay in watching Netflix all weekend, the choice is all mine. From things as little as choosing what to watch on TV at night to things as big as where I live, I love the fact that every choice is mine and I don’t have to ask anyone else for their opinion.
  10. I’m exploring everything the single life has to offer. I love going out and having a blast without worrying about whether or not I’ll meet a guy. My nights no longer revolve around trying to find “The One.” I was chasing guys until I finally realized that I was just wasting time. I only have so many days on this earth and regardless of my relationship status, I’m not going to waste a single one of them ever again.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.