I’m Single Because I’m Scared A Relationship Will Tame Me

I’ve always been single and at this point, it’s more than just a label to me—it’s a huge part of who I am. It’s not that I’m totally against the idea of falling in love and coupling up, it’s just that I’m afraid doing so will fundamentally change who I am and I’m not sure if I want that.

  1. I’m impulsive as hell and I like it that way. Being impulsive has always been a weakness of mine. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I hold back when it comes to my feelings. I know it makes me sound selfish, but I don’t want to filter my emotions and who I am for someone. Another thing that comes hand in hand with being emotionally reckless is impatience. I’m the world’s most impatient person. I want things to happen right away and if they don’t, I’m out. I don’t feel like waiting around for someone to be ready to date me or commit to me.
  2. I get bored easily. Relationships are about stability, and while stability is an amazing thing and something a connection cannot last without, a lot of guys confuse being comfortable with feeling safe in a relationship and that just turns me off. Relationships are about daily routines, and that isn’t for me. I will go nuts if all I do with someone is the same thing every day. No thanks! I don’t want to be with someone who’s mediocre with an average life. I want someone who’s unique, interesting, and unpredictable. On that note, I cannot be with someone who’s vanilla in the bedroom. See, I’m high on life in my own way and being in a relationship feels like a trap to me.
  3. I’m a social butterfly. I’m a flirtatious, affectionate person. These qualities make being in a relationship complicated because it forces me to take it down a notch. I don’t want to be restricted by the way I interact with guys or be told who I can and can’t talk to. I don’t want to be less friendly because someone doesn’t like that I’m a hugger or that I engage in conversations right off the bat. Just let me be me. Let me do my thing.
  4. I’m my own boss. My life, my way. Period. I ain’t changing my ways to accommodate someone else. I don’t like it when a guy tells me what to do or when acts like he knows what’s best for me. I’m not saying that I don’t want to be called out on my crap. All I’m saying is that I don’t want to be controlled. Many guys I know try to get a hold of me like I’m sort of a wild animal instead of just accepting me for who I am and giving me space to be free.
  5. It’s hard for me to make decisions. Being in a relationship means being able to make hard decisions. I’m an overthinker, which makes it really difficult for me to stick one thing. I second guess the choices I make and I end up confusing myself. It comes off as lacking self-confidence when in reality, I’m just a deep person. I like to do things the right way but guys judge me for it because they think it makes me come off as a perfectionist. I’m the kind of person who takes forever to make a decision, but once I do, I never change my mind. I don’t want to compromise when it comes to making decisions that affect me just to make someone happy.
  6. I can’t afford the distraction. I don’t want to flip my life upside down for a guy. I’m at a place where I’m establishing myself and working on improving some aspects of my life. I’m focusing on the things that matter the most to me. I can’t afford to get involved with someone who will jeopardize my future plans or even slow them down. I want to figure myself out first, then I can figure out everything else.
  7. Settling is my ultimate nightmare. I don’t want to settle for someone who’s not worthy of me because I feel lonely or because everyone else is pressuring me to. I’d rather stay single than be with someone who’s just not right for me. To me, settling is a failure because it means two things: not being true to who I am and giving up on my worth. I’ve been there before when I was settling without even noticing.
  8. I live in the moment. When it comes to my feelings, I go with the flow. I don’t always end up doing what’s best for me in the future, I do what makes me feel good at the moment. I give my all to the present and I don’t live with regrets. A relationship grounds you in one way or the other. I don’t want someone’s inability to live the moment like I do take away from my experience.
  9. There’s so much I want to accomplish. I have ambitions and dreams that I want to make them happen on my own. I want to see places with my own eyes before I see them from some else’s perspective. I want to experience life on my own. I want to get to a comfortable level of knowing myself, understanding myself, and most importantly, loving myself. I want to do that while I’m on my own because I want it to come from me rather than a guy I’m with.