I’m So Cynical — Here Are 11 Ways I Convince Myself Every Guy I Meet Sucks

I’m So Cynical — Here Are 11 Ways I Convince Myself Every Guy I Meet Sucks

When I finally meet a great guy and there’s an amazing connection there, naturally I start freaking out and end things before they can go any further. WTF is wrong with me? Well, I’ve just convinced myself that every guy I’ll ever meet will end up disappointing me, so I end up screwing things up before they can screw me over. Here’s how:

  1. I’m pretty sure he’s got ulterior motives/isn’t who he seems. An awesome guy that treats me like a princess? Too good to be true. I’m used to average guys that treat women averagely well. That’s so sad and terrible. It’s like a game of waiting for the shoe to drop.
  2. I expect him to cheat on me because guys are always unfaithful, right? I’m a monogamous dater. We don’t have to DTR or anything, but when I like a guy, I clear the whole bench (not that there typically is a bench to clear, but you get the gist). I don’t do the multiple guys/multiple dates thing. So when I meet someone that amazing, he’s most likely seeing other women because who wouldn’t want him? Then I back away because competing for a man is not my style.
  3. If he wants too much too soon, there’s something wrong with him. I have intimacy issues. I don’t like emotional or physical intimacy with someone I barely know. So when this fantastic guy starts to show a lot of interest, I freak out and run the opposite direction! I can’t help myself, vulnerability is not my thing when we haven’t built a relationship up yet.
  4. I judge him by his friends. If I meet his friends and they’re tools, you can bet I will be out of there in the blink of an eye. If I want to see someone’s true colors, I take a look at their closest friends. If I don’t like what I see, it’s not a good sign.
  5. If he still seems interested after a few days, I doubt it can really be genuine. This guy is too good to be true, therefore he must just want to be friends. There’s no way he is looking for us to be together. I have confidence in myself, but I don’t have much confidence in my dating abilities, so I second guess everything.
  6. I pick apart his flaws and can’t get past them. I hate this about myself. Whenever I start to feel something for a guy I find all the things that bother me about him and compile it so that I’m no longer interested. Seeing as I’m currently single, it must be an effective method. I’m working on being better about this because this is a really sh*tty thing to do.
  7. I’m convinced there’s always someone better out there. At the beginning phase of dating I always wonder: Is this the guy I’m settling for or is this as good as it gets? Too bad I can’t tell.
  8. I wonder if I’m misreading the signs. Are we actually flirting? If we haven’t hung out much then I haven’t got a clue if this guy is interested unless he makes it blatantly obvious. I don’t flirt well. I smile a lot and hold a conversation, but I do this with everyone, so when a guy does it back, I never know if we’re hitting it off or just having a good time.
  9. I’d rather end our relationship prematurely than have to share my baggage. We all have skeletons in our closet, but when I think about having to tell my new date about them, I choose to stop our relationship instead. That’s back to the intimacy thing. Damn.
  10. I get caught up in daydreams and end up disappointed by reality. I create scenarios with my dream man in my head once we hit it off. Typically this happens while I’m falling asleep and I find it comforting. Then, once we start spending time together, I realize my dream was better than reality. Oops.
  11. I’m impatient to get to the good stuff. Ah! The revealing moment. I’m always working on being patient, but I really miss having deep connections with whoever I’m dating. Unfortunately, that trust takes an extremely long time to build and I grow impatient. So, I start implementing the “pick apart the poor, innocent, guy’s flaws” move as mentioned above, and I lose interest. But hey, at least I’m working on it!
Tori is a recent college graduate trying to find her place in this world. She loves to travel (way too much), play volleyball, and practice her broken German when she isn't working as a safari specialist.
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