There are myriad reasons I believe that women should have access to contraception and abortion. I’m staunchly pro-choice because I feel that women should be able to plan their pregnancies, choose when they want to become mothers and end a pregnancy they’re not ready for. That being said, I would never have an abortion if I got pregnant. Here’s why:
- My personal and political opinions are not mutually exclusive. My personal opinion and my political opinions can co-exist. I take major issue with the fact that anything having to do with my body is political at all, even though I can understand why it has to be. In order to maintain women’s rights, we have to be able to fight for them in a political arena. I get it. Reproductive health is part healthcare, part social, part political, part spiritual and part religious. How you stack those ‘parts’ depends on where you are coming from. But because women’s collective bodies and lives differ from my one body and life, I strongly believe that choice is better for the collective.
- I’m not at all religious, but I do believe that life begins at fertilization. I’m deeply spiritual and I believe in science. Some people find that difficult to understand but I think that my spirituality informs and is compatible with my scientific beliefs. My belief that life begins at fertilization is a deeply held personal belief cultivated from my many years of thinking and considering what life really is and what it means to me spiritually, and also by my secular science education. Because of that, I couldn’t ever terminate a pregnancy.
- I would feel really guilty. I just would. Maybe it’s the life begins at fertilization thing. Maybe it’s because I’ve always wanted children. Maybe it’s because I’d be putting my body through something that it’s either 1) supposed to go through naturally (like a miscarriage) or 2) is unnatural to it. I believe my body is meant to carry life in addition to all of the other things I think it is meant to do. And as a result, I would feel extremely guilty about it.
- I believe in miracles, so what. I’ve been on birth control for years, probably 10 at this point. I’m consistent with my birth control. I have an IUD which is the most effective contraceptive device on the market right now. I get regular check-ups. I’m meticulous about checking for my period. But, I also believe that miracles can happen (remember, I’m super spiritual.) I believe that there is a reason contraceptive methods aren’t 100% effective. If I were to get pregnant while being as responsible as I can possibly be, it would be a sign that this pregnancy is supposed to happen.
- I believe I’m meant to be a mother the same way I believe I am meant to be a career woman. I’ve always felt like I’m meant to be a woman with a bustling and challenging career. I’ve also always felt like I am meant to be a mother. In some ways, I view motherhood the same way that I view my career. I will work hard and put myself in a position for the right career path to arise, but I will also work hard to make sure that I am ready for the children that I am meant to bear. So, I know that on many levels I am prepared even if I didn’t expect it.
- I don’t believe there’s a ‘right time’ to have children. I’ve spoken to some women who say that they are happy they waited until they were in their late thirties to have children and I’ve spoken to others that are jazzed about the fact that they’re younger parents. Some women have kids after their careers are established. Other women have kids in the middle of their lives at otherwise inconvenient times. The point is, I don’t believe there’s a right time. If I got pregnant, the right time would be then and there.
- It’s what’s best for me, not everyone else, and that’s okay. I hope that you remember as you’re reading this that this is my story. This is my evaluation of my path, not yours or hers.
- We should be supportive of women that exist in this grey area. I think that more women than we think exist in this grey area when it comes to what they would do if they became pregnant. So many women believe in access to abortion because it gives women autonomy over their bodies that we are rightfully entitled to have. But so many women would never elect to have one. Supporting women like me doesn’t invalidate your or her pro-choice or pro-life stance. Supporting women like me acknowledges that pregnancy is complicated and deeply personal to each and every woman.
- Part of having a choice at all also means not choosing abortion. We are used to believing that pro-choice tips in favor of women choosing abortion. But I’d like to advocate for another interpretation of the term. To me, in order for it to truly be about free will and choice, we have to recognize women who would not choose abortion, even if they support the many women who do. That’s true choice.
