I’m independent AF — I pay my own bills and boss my life all on my own — but now that I’ve found an amazing guy to share my life with, I’ve started to realize how traditional I am when it comes to relationships. Yes, I’m still a strong, badass woman, but now that I’ve found love, I actually like doing the traditional wifey stuff for my boyfriend — and I shouldn’t have to hide it in fear that it makes me submissive or anti-feminist.
It’s in my nature to be caring. I’ve always been an extremely caring person towards the people I love, and that part of me doesn’t change in a relationship. If I want to make my boyfriend a hot meal in an apron and bake him some surprise cookies, it’s because I care about him, not because I’m emulating a 1950s housewife.
I’m only reciprocating his genuine love in my own way. My boyfriend treats me amazingly well, so it’s only natural for me to want to reciprocate that same effort back. While I don’t believe that he should solely bring home the bacon and help me with every single damsel in distress moment, I do happily accept his traditional masculine instincts in wanting to protect and look after me. I’m still a career-driven woman who contributes to our life together both mentally and physically.
I enjoy my traditional femininity too. Call me crazy, but I actually enjoy doing thoughtful things like laundry and taking on the nurturing role in my relationship. I enjoy feeling like the more delicate of the two of us because I don’t feel the need to be superior to my partner. It doesn’t mean I’m not a strong woman, it just means that I’m staying true to myself.
Being a modern woman doesn’t mean I need to abandon my spirit. There’s so much pressure on women these days to be completely independent from a man, and while I wholeheartedly agree that I needed to know how to be alone first, I don’t think that I need to push my boyfriend and his sweet offerings to make my life easier away just to prove that I’m a strong woman. Sometimes part of being a strong woman means that I’m strong enough to trust and let someone into my heart.
I’ve waited way too long to find this kind of love. I didn’t spend all these years on my own to be in a relationship that didn’t change the dynamic of my life. To me, it’s completely normal and natural for me to fall into a traditional wifey type role with the man in my life — and because I actually know how to be on my own, it feels even more amazing doing the things I’ve been doing for myself for someone who completely appreciates the effort.
He appreciates everything that I do and it feels amazing. When my boyfriend thanks me for making dinner, folding his clothes and picking up his favorite dessert from the bakery simply because I care about him, it makes me feel great inside knowing that he not only notices but appreciates those simple and thoughtful gestures. I’m not a wannabe housewife — I’m simply a woman in love.
I’m not his servant — I’m his equal. Maybe my relationship is different than what some people might consider a traditional husband and wife-type dynamic, but from what I do know about my relationship, my boyfriend doesn’t treat me or view me as if he expects me to be his servant. He doesn’t banish me to the kitchen or demand that I make him a sandwich — he’s a grown man who loves me right back. He knows the things I do for him are because I care and because I know how to contribute to our life as a duo instead of the one woman team that I grew accustomed to being on my own. In other words, I know the difference between being a strong and capable single woman and a strong and capable woman in a relationship.
I’m a modern woman and I can do it all. I can’t help but feel insanely proud of my transition from being a strong and badass lone warrior to being that same strong and badass woman in love. My role may have changed and I may not be doing all the grunt work with my own two hands, but my core remains the same. I’m a strong and capable modern woman who can survive on her own, but I still truly love doing wifey things for my boyfriend.
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