I’m Tired Of Getting My Hopes Up And Being Wrong About A Guy Yet Again

Pretty much every time I think I’ve met a good guy who likes me back, I’m sadly mistaken. I’m beginning to question my judgment all the time because of it. It’s tough to remain optimistic when these things keep happening.

  1. I’m terrible at reading signals. In my defense, sometimes they aren’t very obvious. Guys get weird and shy and of course afraid of rejection. Still, it seems that I read everything all the wrong way. When I think someone is into me, he’s just being nice. When I assume a guy is being nice, later I find out he actually likes me.
  2. My gaydar is broken. My friends make fun of me for thinking everyone is gay, but I blame modern dating. I wouldn’t assume that any attractive, sweet and kind man was gay if I hadn’t encountered so many douchebags. I seriously can’t tell anymore, which is fine… except when it keeps me from proceeding with someone because I’m unsure.
  3. I’m not good at flirting anyway. Even if I do feel optimistic about a dude, I’m so shy and awkward that he’ll never know. I’m only comfortable and confident around the guys I’m not into, so then it’s my fate that they like me. I know I have to change this pattern but every time I’m determined to do so, I wuss out again.
  4. I never think anyone likes me… I’m afraid to get my hopes up because of all my past disappointments so I’d rather assume a man isn’t into me unless he makes it very clear. But, because I don’t show my feelings, I’m sure guys never think I’m into them! If we’re both scared of rejection it’s a total lost cause.
  5. …But when I do think someone likes me, I’m usually wrong. This seems to be some cruel joke life loves to play on me. I try to be confident and take what I think are signals at face value, and then I find out the guy has a girlfriend or some crap. Seriously? I guess they are friendlier because they know they’re already attached? I give up.
  6. I see what I want to see instead of what’s there. I’m very good at making something out of nothing – and it’s a problem when it comes to dating. If I want something badly enough, I’ll twist and turn every little thing in my mind until it becomes what I want it to be. This tendency leads me down the wrong path with men.
  7. I always talk myself out of doing anything because I’m scared. I sometimes feel confident and brave, and then I remember that every time I make the first move with a guy, I end up misfiring. This gives me pause and I end up backing out of any plan I had made to be bold. I decide it’s not worth the possibility of a letdown.
  8. I get excited and then I get awkward and ruin everything. I’m the worst—literally the worst ever—at flirting. I can be fun and sassy and silly when there’s nothing at stake, but if anything threatens to get serious, I cut and run. If I turn and catch an attractive man smiling at me, instead of smiling back, I pretend I don’t see him. It’s terrible.
  9. I’m wrong often enough that I don’t trust my gut anymore. I almost feel like I can’t even tell what my gut feeling is anymore. I’ve been so sure at times about a guy, but then so very, very wrong. A man would almost have to walk up to me and grab me and yell in my face that he likes me for me to believe it at this point.
  10. I’m too tired to even bother. I’ve had so many instances where I’ve been emotionally exhausted by confusing situations with men that I don’t want to deal with it. I’ve given up hope that I’ll ever understand what guys feel for me. I’m too busy and distracted to care anymore.
  11. I’m so cautious now that if a guy does like me, he’s going to have to be obvious. I’m overplaying the game. I’m over making the first move and ending up rejected or with a passive guy who never tries at all. I need a man who takes control of the situation and at least jump starts everything so that I can feel comfortable reciprocating.
  12. It’s extremely discouraging to keep doing this so I’ve stopped trying. I literally give up. I’m trying to be realistic and spare myself any more confusion and pain. I’d rather just sit on my couch alone in my own little happy bubble and forget men exist at all. It’s too frustrating and disheartening to try to date.
  13. I want to believe that someone I like will like me in return, but it ain’t happening. I try to stay hopeful and believe in a good, real love coming my way someday, but it seems like I only like guys who don’t like me and vice versa. I don’t get it. I just want mutual, comfortable and authentic chemistry.
  14. I can’t just change who I’m attracted to, but this isn’t working. Am I just falling for all the wrong guys? I don’t want to try and force myself to like someone I don’t—I’ve tried that before with disastrous results. I just want to stop liking men who don’t like me back because it’s the worst.

 

A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.
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