I’m Tired Of Putting Myself Out There — Especially Since All I Get Is Crap In Return

I’m not one of those girls who complains about being single while sitting at home every night, watching rom-coms and crying into her pillow. I’m actively putting myself out there: I go on online dates, I hit up the hot spots for singles, and I always make sure to maintain a welcoming aura just in case I pass a cute boy on the street. However, lately I’ve been finding that my efforts to find love have been blowing up in my face, and I’m seriously on my last breath here.

  1. I rarely get a second date. Guys nowadays seem to think that it’s easier to take out the next girl who shows up on their app instead of, you know, investing their time and emotions into developing a relationship with just one girl. I mean, who’s got the patience for that anymore? I take all this time to get ready for our first date, only to never see the guy again. It’s frustrating to say the least.
  2. I end up dating a jerk. Yeah, this happens more often than I’d like to admit. I open myself up to dating and end up getting paired with a jerk, a psychopath, or a creep. This totally crushes any remaining hope I had for my future love life. It’s hard to believe that love will eventually come when all I’ve been getting is crazies and jerks.
  3. I get used for sex. And it doesn’t feel good. I go into the date looking for love, while meanwhile, he’s only looking for sex. Some people are down for NSA, casual situations, but not me. When a guy stops responding to my texts and I find out he was only using me for sex, I could just give up on dating right then and there.
  4. I always end up caring more than they do. I really want a relationship, but I hate being the only one who actually cares about love. I’ll go on dates thinking I’m meeting someone who also want a relationship, but they always end up not caring about it or pull away, leaving me confused and frustrated. Why even date if you don’t want a relationship? I don’t get it.
  5. I get catfished. I’m in a desperate search for love, and to make sure I find it, I date both IRL and online. However, I find that the guys I meet online are never who they say they are. They lie about their height or their age and think they’re going to get away with it. How can someone think it’s okay to lie like that? Not only is it a waste of my time, but it’s kinda ruined dating for me — permanently.
  6. I get dumped for simply being me. I open myself to love only to be rejected later on. It hurts, because I always seem to get dumped because it’s “just not working”. It’s never for a dramatic reason like infidelity or some horrible event that blows the relationship to pieces — it’s always just, “I can’t do this.” When this happens, it basically feels like I’m not good enough to date, making my self-esteem plummet even lower than it already is. After getting my heart stomped on so many times, it’s getting difficult to keep playing the dating game.
  7. I get led on for months and then ghosted. I’ll spend all this time getting to know a guy, and all he has to do is stop responding to my texts and bam — it’s over. It’s totally unfair and downright rude. After experiencing this over and over again, you can’t really blame me for wanting to quit dating.
  8. I get stood up. It’s happened so many times: I get all dolled up for my date and muster up a bunch of positive self talk and courage, and he just doesn’t show. He’s disrespecting my time and — I’m just gonna say it — disrespecting love. Why even try anymore if these guys are just swiping on over to the next available chick when they decide I’m not even worth formally cancelling on?
  9. I get rejected for wanting a serious relationship. Am I the only person in this town who wants something real? I go on these dates with guys who seemingly want a relationship, but the second I start talking about “the future”, they go AWOL. I wish people were more honest when dating — it would make the process so much easier and a lot less heartbreaking.
  10. I get benched. I’m not putting myself out there just to get benched. I’m essentially being put on the back burner for later, and it hurts. Dating takes a lot out of me, and it’s the guys who string me along like this who end up killing my zest for dating for good.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.