I’m A Total Tomboy And Guys Seem To Love It

From the second I picked up my first baseball and became the only girl on my little league team, I’ve been a tomboy. Despite the fact that my mother tried to dress me in gender-specific outfits, I rebelled, stripping down to my underwear in some cases, to avoid wearing some frilly frock. You can’t climb trees in dresses. To this day, I’m still very much a tomboy and its this aspect about me that the guys I’ve dated have loved.

  1. It takes me no time to get ready to go out. I don’t own a hairbrush. Seriously. I never have and never will. I also don’t wear makeup, aside for the occasional red lipstick. If a guy calls me to meet him someplace in 20 minutes, I’ll be there in 17. I’m incredibly low-maintenance.
  2. I’ve got that whole “one of the boys” thing down. As much as I hate to say use that phrase because I’m not a fan of gender stereotypes, if you toss me in a room with a bunch of guys, I can hold my own. I talk crap, I drink most of them under the table, I can argue about sports teams (well, baseball), and they don’t feel like they need to put themselves on mute around me. But I’m also fortunate enough to not have any sexist pigs in my life, so that helps too. A sexist joke will have me on my soapbox giving one hell of a feminist rant.
  3. I’m up for anything. Biologically, men tend to be more of risk takers—this dates back to the hunters versus gathers things of our ancestors. Because I usually have no fucks to give and have developed a fearless streak, I’m also a risk taker. So if the guy I’m seeing suggests we go skydiving, I don’t to weigh the pros and cons of it; I just go. Unfortunately, no guy has asked me this. Yet.
  4. I’m low-key on the relationship front. Again, I realize I’m making a gender stereotype here but, for the most part, my straight female friends have a really hard time dating guys because it feels like a constant mystery and struggle because OMG what does this text mean and why hasn’t he texted me in two days? It makes me damn happy that none of my friends date me, because I really don’t see the need to text my partner every single day or every other day or even every third day. I know he’s there, he knows I’m here, and that’s cool. Let’s just keep it easy.
  5. I don’t need to be treated like a princess. As much as I like to drunkenly tell strangers at a bar that I’m royalty (I’m actually a countess through marriage), I don’t need to be showered with lavish gifts. In fact, it makes me feel really uncomfortable.
  6. I’m perfectly comfortable in his jeans and t-shirt. If we have sleepover and I didn’t prepare for it, I don’t need to run home to get ready for brunch. I can toss on his clothes, use his deodorant, and I’m ready to go. It’s amazing how many guys find this low-maintenance thing sexy.
  7. My cotton undies are a hit. I have never owned a thong. They’re just not for me. Although I do have a couple pairs of lacy underwear, mostly I wear cotton undies and they’re also a hit. Why? I don’t know. Right now I’m wearing a pair of cotton undies with penguins all over them. I actually happened to have been wearing these the last time I had sex and was told by my partner that they were the sexiest underwear he’d ever seen. When I asked if he was joking, he said he wasn’t so I guess I’ll take his word for it.
  8. I’m really adaptable. While I don’t think this is entirely because I’m a tomboy and has more to do with my personality in general, I’ve always been just as comfortable uptown at a Michelin-star restaurant as I am downtown at a dive bar. Although, to be honest, I do prefer downtown most of the time. But because of this, my male partners know they can take me anywhere and I’ll find a way to be at home.
  9. I have a very “whatever” attitude. Unless it’s work related, in which I can get a pretty stressed out and antsy, I have a “whatever” attitude about most things. I’ve been told by guys that this is refreshing and very “guy” of me. Considering the way guys tend to interact with women, even the ones they like, I have to agree that “whatever” is pretty effing guy-ish.
  10. I make it clear that I don’t need them. Am I going to stand outside your window and call you a POS if you cheat on me? Probably. But, ultimately, I know the difference between need and want, and I’ve never met a guy I couldn’t live without.
  11. I’m a really good buddy. While there are definitely a lot of parts about being a tomboy that guys like about me, I think the big selling point is that I’m great at being a buddy. Which, to be honest, can also be a bad thing because it’s hard to go from buddy to lover on a dime sometimes. But when you date a tomboy, you get a friend first and lover second. Personally, I prefer it that way. It means when the romantic part dies, we’ll still be able to be friends. And friends, good friends, are hard to come by.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.