14 Myths About Introverts That Are Total BS

14 Myths About Introverts That Are Total BS

Many people assume introverts are loners or weirdos who hate socializing and basically never leave the house. That’s obviously not the case — we’re complex, nuanced human beings just like everyone else. Below are some of the most ridiculous myths about introverts that a lot of people believe but really shouldn’t. Newsflash: they’re not true!

1. We don’t actually hate people.

Socializing is a lot of fun, but it is extremely draining for us. We love meaningful connections, but too much small talk and sensory overload leave us feeling zapped. Alone time is how we get our energy reserves back up and start to feel ready to face the world again. And honestly, sometimes a quiet night with a good book or movie beats any crowded party. It’s not that we dislike people, it’s that we need to balance interaction with solitude to feel our best.

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2. Just because we’re quiet doesn’t mean that we’re shy.

We might not dominate group conversations, but that doesn’t mean we’re terrified of having them. We just prefer listening, observing, and processing before jumping in. Our best thoughts usually come a little later. Plus, have you ever tried having a deep conversation at a noisy bar? It’s not exactly ideal. We might not always be the loudest voice in the room, but that doesn’t mean we have nothing to say.

3. Being deep thinkers makes us powerful, not weird.

We chat less and use our brains more. Introverts love thinking about and analyzing stuff, and making connections that most people miss. It’s how we understand the world, and it can lead to some seriously cool insights. Also, it makes us great at crossword puzzles and trivia nights. Our minds are always buzzing, which can be exhausting, but also incredibly rewarding.

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4. Parties can actually be fun in small doses.

We genuinely enjoy socializing, but in smaller groups or for shorter periods than extroverts might. Think quality over quantity when it comes to our social calendar. One-on-one coffee dates or a chill night with close friends is our jam. We can still appreciate the energy of a party, but we might need to duck out early or take quiet breaks to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

5. We’re great communicators, actually — just in text format.

Sometimes putting thoughts into writing is way easier and clearer than on-the-spot conversation. Don’t assume a lack of phone calls means we’re not interested. We might just be saving our best stories and jokes for a well-thought-out text message. Plus, texting gives us time to think about what we want to say, so we can get our message across with little chance of misunderstandings.

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6. We’re the MVPs of loyalty.

Introverts build deep bonds a few at a time — being incredibly self-reliant doesn’t mean we don’t love and value our close friendships. Once you’re in our circle, we’ve got your back fiercely. Less drama, more genuine support – that’s the introvert way. We’re not interested in fake friendships; we want to know the real you, and we’ll be there through thick and thin.

7. No, we’re not serious all the time.

Sure, we spend a lot of time observing and processing, but that doesn’t mean we’re miserable. Our brains are just always really busy. Our faces may look serious, but we could be planning your surprise birthday party in our heads, or thinking about the best way to solve a problem, or just pondering the meaning of life – who knows? That doesn’t mean we don’t know how to let our hair down and have fun sometimes too.

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8. Our alone time isn’t a way of punishing you.

It’s how we decompress, get creative, and sort through our thoughts. Needing some “me time” isn’t us being rude, it’s how we function best. We’re not trying to avoid people, we’re just spending time on our own to reflect, recharge, and make sure we’re feeling good in our own skin. We want to be able to be fully present around you, which means we need time to be fully present with just ourselves too.

9. We can still be successful in our professional lives, as well.

The idea that being an introvert will somehow hold us back in our careers is silly. First of all, extroversion can actually work against you in many fields; our meticulous, thoughtful, and measured approach comes in handy and can make us strong, respectable leaders. Introverts aren’t hindered by our personality type in the slightest. In fact, we know how to work to our strengths.

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10. No, we don’t need to be fixed.

Introversion is a normal and healthy personality trait, not a disorder or weakness. It is a natural way of responding to the world and doesn’t need to be changed or “cured.” We don’t go around telling extroverts that they need to change and be quieter and more reflective, do we? The idea that we need to become different people to fit in is ludicrous.

11. We’re not boring either.

Just because we’re not interested in always being the loudest voice in the room doesn’t mean we don’t have plenty to say. We just save it for people we have a close relationship with or with whom we love having conversations. We’re smart, driven, curious, and have plenty of interests, hobbies, and passions that make us anything but boring. Don’t write us off just because we’re not showcasing it to the world all the time.

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12. Don’t automatically assume we’re depressed or anxious.

Introversion isn’t inherently a sign of unhappiness or depression. Introverts can be just as content and emotionally healthy as extroverts when we have a balance of social interaction and solitude that works for them. Your personality type doesn’t determine your mental health, so don’t conflate the two.

13. We get excited — it’s just internal!

Just because we don’t do celebratory backflips doesn’t mean we’re not happy! We often process our happiness and excitement quietly, but it runs deep. We feel things intensely, we just don’t always express that outwardly, and that’s okay. We don’t have to be jumping for joy to be feeling it.

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14. We’re not all the same.

Knowing one introvert doesn’t mean you have a read on all of us. We’re unique people with our own personalities, just like everyone else you meet, so don’t try to pigeonhole us based on what you think you know. Like any personality trait, introversion exists on a spectrum, so do us the service of treating us like an individual.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.
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