Some people seem to love being surrounded by drama 24/7 and don’t know what to do with themselves when things are calm and going well. It should go without saying that if you’re a mature, well-balanced person, you want to stay as far away from people like that as possible. If someone has these traits, they’re drama magnets and you’re better off avoiding them.
1. They thrive amid chaos.
That one friend who always has some drama going on and whose life is a revolving door of crises doesn’t have “bad luck” — that’s called a pattern. They’re not just caught in the storm, they’re the ones feeding it. If you want less turmoil in your own life, it’s time to take a step back and let them handle their own BS. They clearly get off on absolute mayhem, and you don’t want that rubbing off on you.
2. They gossip nonstop, and half of it is lies.
People who are constantly stirring the pot and spreading rumors are not the kind of people you need in your life. They focus on the petty and the trivial, and if they’re talking about other people to you, you can bet they’re talking about you to other people too. The worst part is half of the crap they’re spewing isn’t even true — it’s just fun to talk about to them. If you want to grow, it’s time to step away from the gossip mill.
3. They love playing the victim.
Is there anything more eye roll-worthy than a conversation with someone who never seems to take responsibility for their actions? They’re always the victim, always at the mercy of other people’s terrible actions. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? These people will drain your energy and pull you into their constant drama. Cut your losses and limit your time with them for your own peace. (BTW, if you’re sick of coming across people with all of these qualities in the dating world, our sister site, Sweetn, is for you. They use science to hack your brain and change your love life. Check them out here.)
4. They’re constantly criticizing everything and everyone around them.
There’s nothing wrong with constructive criticism when it’s warranted and welcome — it can really help you grow. However, constant, unnecessary nitpicking isn’t helpful, it’s destructive. People who are always finding fault in what you do are not building you up, they’re tearing you down. For your own self-esteem, it’s best to distance yourself from them.
5. Every word out of their mouth is negative.
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always have a sunny disposition, but people who can never say anything positive are exhausting and soul-destroying. People who constantly see the glass as half empty, who always focus on the bad, can quickly bring down your mood. To keep your own spirits high, it’s best to stay away from them or their bad attitude will start rubbing off on you.
6. They have zero respect for people’s boundaries.
If there’s one thing that’s non-negotiable in any relationship, it’s respect. (You know Aretha Franklin didn’t lie!) People who constantly overstep your boundaries or who don’t respect your personal space or decisions are definitely not worth your time. No one should have the right to make you feel uncomfortable or disregarded.
7. You wouldn’t trust them as far as you could throw them.
You don’t need to feel like someone would run into a burning building to save your life to think they’re an okay person, but if you don’t even believe they have your best interest at heart, you can’t trust them and don’t need them around. If someone has proven themselves to be untrustworthy, if they’ve lied or betrayed you before, it’s only logical to expect they’ll do it again. When it happens, the drama bomb will explode in your life yet again, and you don’t need it.
8. They’re extremely self-centered.
Relationships are a two-way street — they might not always be 50/50, but there should be a bit of give and take there. If someone always makes everything about them and clearly couldn’t care less about your thoughts or feelings, that’s not a healthy dynamic. They’re the type of people who will throw you under the bus in order to get ahead, and that’s not what we’re here for.
9. They hold grudges over the stupidest things.
People who hold onto anger and resentment and who can’t seem to forgive or move on are trapped in a never-ending cycle of anger and hurt. And trust me, you do not want to be pulled into that toxic cycle. Life’s too short for grudges. While obviously it’s a good thing to cut toxicity out of your life, if they swear off someone for life because they drank the last of the coffee in the work kitchen without replacing it, they’re way too dramatic.
10. They’re inconsistent when it comes to being reliable.
There’s something comforting about knowing you can count on someone in times of need. However, people who are constantly changing their minds or who flake on plans or don’t follow through on promises, they’re not reliable. You don’t need that kind of uncertainty in your life.
11. They always need to be right.
We all know someone like this, who can’t admit when they’re wrong and who always needs to have the last word. It’s pretty much impossible to have a healthy conversation with them or disagree about anything because it always turns into an explosive argument. If you want less drama, it’s best to limit your time around people like this.
12. They want what everyone else has.
Jealousy isn’t just a really ugly emotion, it’s unhealthy. People who are always comparing themselves to you or seem to want everything you and everyone else worked hard for in life can never be genuinely happy for you. You deserve to be surrounded by people who celebrate your success rather than resent it.
13. They never apologize for anything.
It’s human to screw up sometimes, but it’s also human to apologize for those errors. People who can’t admit when they’ve made a mistake and who don’t know how to (or just refuse ot) apologize even when they’re clearly in the wrong are showing their immaturity. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
14. They’re manipulative and have no qualms about it.
Manipulative people are the masters of mind games. They’ll twist your words and make you doubt your own thoughts and feelings just to suit their own agenda. It’s a toxic behavior and one you should steer clear of for your own mental well-being.
15. They dismiss your feelings.
Your feelings are valid, and anyone who dismisses them or makes you feel like they’re not important is not someone you need to keep around. You deserve to be heard and understood, not belittled or dismissed. Stand up for yourself and limit your time with people who don’t respect your emotions.
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