I’m Totally Happy Single & I Plan On Staying That Way Forever

As a woman in my twenties, I can confidently say that I have no idea what I want the rest of my life to look like — so how am I supposed to know who I want to spend it with? I’m in no rush to figure it out, either, since being single is a blast. I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I get to create my life EXACTLY how I want it — no compromising, no sacrifices, just me and my dream life. Here’s why I’m totally happy single and plan on staying this way forever (and why there’s nothing wrong with that).

  1. I like spending time alone. I used to be one of those people who needed to be around someone else to feel good. It was one of the biggest issues I had because I couldn’t seem to control it. When I was with people, my self-esteem was sky high, but when I was alone, I would feel depressed. Finally, when I’d had enough, I began forcing myself to do things alone. When I finally became comfortable with it, I felt incredibly free. Being alone is a huge priority for me because I never again want to rely on someone for happiness.
  2. I don’t want to answer to anyone. One of my least favorite parts of past relationships was having to answer to someone. I hated constantly having to check in with someone. It’s not like I was dating some weird control freak, either — it’s just what happens in a relationship. You let each other know where you’re at. While I never felt I had to ask permission for anything, I missed the spontaneity of life.
  3. I’m not big on sharing. I know, I know, I was supposed to learn this in kindergarten! While I do consider myself a very generous person, I don’t want to feel like I have to share anything, whether that’s my thoughts or my money. I love the act of giving, but sometimes in a relationship it can feel obligatory, and that takes away a lot of the fun.
  4. I need my own place. Maybe it’s the introvert in me talking, but I need time to myself to recharge. When I’m around someone for too long (even if they were my soulmate or my best friend), I get anxious and very irritated and I start to lose my patience. However, give me an hour and a bubble bath and I’ll be back to my regular self. It’ll always be a necessity for me to have a place that I can completely call my own.
  5. I want my career to come first. I’m more interested in my career goals than my relationship ones. I know I’m lovable and fun and I don’t need anyone reminding me of that. What I don’t know is how far I can go to achieve my dreams or if I can create my ideal life all on my own. That’s something I want to find out.
  6. I’ve already found my crew. I know that people want a relationship as a source of emotional and mental support, but I’ve already got that. I’m blessed with an amazing family and a fantastic group of friends, and I really couldn’t ask for much more. I just don’t need a relationship to fill that supportive role.
  7. I’d rather not deal with someone else’s baggage. I know everyone has their baggage (Lord knows I have mine), but I just don’t feel the need to deal with someone else’s stuff. I’ve got enough going on as it is. Call it selfish, but I don’t want to invite more personal issues into my life.
  8. I don’t want to feel guilty for my way of life. I probably spend most of my disposable income at restaurants. I’m a vegan. I’ll either stay in all weekend and curl up with a book or come home after sunrise every night. I’m an intense person and whatever I love is what I throw myself into completely. I know that’s not how a lot of people like to live, but I do. I don’t want to be made to feel less because I like to live my life a certain way.
  9. I like the excitement of the unknown. Don’t get me wrong — a relationship can be exciting, but I prefer to be surprised by life. I don’t want to meet some guy and move into a house that has a 30-year mortgage. I want to jump into the unknown. I want anything to be possible.
  10. I don’t want to stay in one place (or relationship) forever. I’ve always been a wanderer at heart. I used to feel guilty for getting so ansty but now I realize it’s just who I am. The idea of settling down with the same person or place for the next fifty years makes me nervous. In fact, it scares me more than not knowing what’s going to happen. I’m restless, and that’s exactly how I like it.
Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.