I’m Worried I’ve Ruined Myself For Love

I’m Worried I’ve Ruined Myself For Love

After dating and being in several long-term relationships that just didn’t end up working out, I sort of lost hope. I’ve played the field, dated so many different types of guys and I still feel like I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I always thought I’d get it right after a few times, but now I’m not so sure.

  1. I’ve given so much of myself to someone else already. The fact is that I’ve already given such a special part of me to someone else — it’s hard to believe I could provide the same to another person. I feel almost worn out.
  2. I thought I knew what love is. Now I’m not so sure. I thought I had the right idea and knew what it meant to truly care about someone and be fully committed to them. Obviously, I was wrong. Now it’s like I’m back to the drawing board but I’m drawing a blank.
  3. I have such high expectations. I feel like they’re irrational sometimes. I’ve developed a self-confidence that allows me to be picky and never settle for less, but I feel like I might have set the bar TOO high. It’s hard because I’m trying to find love while protecting myself at the same time.
  4. I’ve been so hurt in past relationships. The amount of pain I’ve been through in my relationships is the kind that never really goes away. I know pain demands to be felt, but it changes you as a lover whether you want it to or not.
  5. I’ve become more cynical over the years. Unfortunately, my once overly-trusting self has become skeptical as hell. I’m not the warm and trusting person I used to be because my experiences have damaged my ability to be as open.
  6. I have a hard time following my own advice. For someone who has great relationship advice for my friends, I just can’t seem to follow it myself. If I can’t take a dose of my own medicine, how can I expect to find love?
  7. I’m afraid of being cheated on. For reasons beyond my control, I fear not being good enough. I’ve seen way too much and felt so much pain caused by unfaithful guys that I just don’t know if anyone is truly loyal. I don’t thnk I can go through that again.
  8. I don’t know if I believe that long-term, sustainable relationships exist. I used to believe in a love that lasts forever, now I think might be a total lie. I rarely witness couples who make it all the way and I never want to be one of those couples that don’t make it.
  9. I feel like I’ll never find someone good enough. I’m just afraid that I’ll reach a point in my life where I can’t find someone who suits me, no matter where I look. I don’t want to miss out on someone great because I failed to see what’s in front of me.
  10. I feel like I’ll never be good enough for someone else. Alternatively, I’m scared of not being a person that someone else wants forever. I know I’m a catch, but it’s hard when things have never worked out with someone else.
  11. I’m worried, but I still have faith. I’m worried the love I’ve always wanted just doesn’t exist. I’m worried I don’t have the heart I once did, but I still have faith. Regardless of how I feel now, I’m hoping someone will come along and change my mind.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love.