Here’s Why It’s So Important To Feel Complete Before Getting Into A Relationship

Looking for a partner to complete you is total BS. Sure, it might seem romantic in theory, but it’s also kind of sad. After all, don’t you want to be a whole person before you end up in a relationship? Here’s why it’s so important to cement your sense of self before entering a relationship.

  1. You hold the keys to your happiness. Have you ever been depressed or lonely in a relationship? That should’ve been a huge lesson in how you can’t expect someone else to make you happy. It’s unfair on them and yourself.
  2. You have to look after yourself. It might sound cynical, but you’re the only one who can look after yourself. At the end of the day, you’re the only person you can depend on. If you depend wholeheartedly on your partner, you end up losing yourself and your independence to them.
  3. You shouldn’t sacrifice a fab life. Waiting for a relationship to make your life amazing is something you’ll regret later in life, probably when you find the person you’re meant to be with you and you wish you’d been able to enjoy your single years instead of wishing them away. This is your life right now. Make the most of it.
  4. You can’t hope to be fixed. If you believe that finding your forever person will heal you, you’re totally wrong. Sorry to say, but no one can fix you. You can only fix yourself¬†by working on your own issues and dramas. Your partner isn’t your psychologist.
  5. You won’t be happy. Seriously, you might think that finding someone who “completes you” will make you happy, but in reality, it will have the opposite effect. You will find someone and you will realize that things won’t just magically work out. You have to work on the relationship, but before that, you have to work on yourself.
  6. You can’t put yourself on the back-burner. It’s easy to get caught up in a new, exciting love story, but it shouldn’t become who you are to the effect of putting yourself and everything that’s important to you on the back-burner. You’re worth more than that. Before finding someone, know who you are, what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want. Keep these active in your life because your life matters more than your relationship.
  7. You can’t expect someone to be your dream. You can sit and dream up the perfect partner who will make you happy, but what about you? You should also work on yourself so that you can be that person’s dream. Healthy relationships are about two equals joining forces and working hard to be good to each other.
  8. You must know you’ll be okay. No matter how amazing and healthy your relationship is, it can fall apart and leave you all alone. It happens, but it doesn’t have to make you crumble along with it. If you know that you’re capable of standing on your two feet, being strong, and carving out your own life, you’ll be fine no matter what happens to you.
  9. You can’t make anyone else happy. You know when people say that you can only help others once you’ve helped yourself? It’s so true. If you can’t make yourself happy, you’ll never be able to make anyone else happy. That means you’ll never be able to be in a healthy, happy relationship because it will be unbalanced.
  10. You can’t look out for yourself if you’re incomplete. If you don’t love yourself and feel complete in yourself before you find your forever person, you won’t be able to know yourself enough to set important boundaries, speak up when something makes you miserable, and know when to get out of a crummy relationship. Even if your relationship is awesome, not feeling complete can always make you feel like you’re missing out on something.
  11. You shouldn’t be insecure. If you feel like you’re half a person instead of a complete one, you’re always going to be looking at your partner to fill in your blanks and make your life meaningful. You’ll be insecure all the time, which will mess with your self-confidence. Work on being a full person who’s strong, confident, and amazing. Then you won’t need your partner to be everything for you.
  12. You are your own everything. One of the worst things you can do when dating is make your partner your entire world. You’re your entire world. You have to come first because if you don’t, you’ll always be putting others’ needs above your own. You’ll never be happy.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.