Important Questions You Need Answered Before Getting Serious

Important Questions You Need Answered Before Getting Serious ©iStock/CoffeeAndMilk

We all want to live a full and happy life, and hopefully your partner’s future plans will match your own — but what if they don’t? Years down the road, you could find out that your ideals just don’t line up, and that’s a totally avoidable heartbreak. Before you lock things down, you should find out the answers to these important questions:

  1. Do you want kids? Whether or not to have children is one of the biggest dealbreakers in the dating world. It’s not something most people change their mind about, and there’s no good compromise. Have the talk sooner rather than later.
  2. What kind of future do you see for yourself? Before you, your man was imagining a life for himself, so what did it entail? You should know his life goals and where he sees himself career-wise. Can you see yourself standing next to him in his dream, and will he be standing next to you in yours?
  3. Do you believe in marriage? If you’re the type of girl that sees a ring in her future, you better know if your man sees it, too. How much time would you want to put into a relationship before finding out your man never wants to get married?
  4. What do you believe? Religion, or lack thereof, is pretty damn important when choosing to walk through life together. Even if your spiritual beliefs don’t match, it’s important to respect each other’s faith. Know where he stands so you can find a way to stand together.
  5. Where do you want to live? City vs. country. Apartment vs. house. Where you live is a pretty big deal. Some people can be happy anywhere, others have a set dream, just makes sure your dreams match or that you can compromise.
  6. What’s your relationship with your ex? Before you get serious with a guy, you need to know if he’s still hung up on a former flame. No one wants to be a second choice consolation prize, so know the facts before he can break your heart.
  7. Have you ever cheated? Not just whether or not he’s cheated on you, which is a pretty obvious sign you should get out now, but has he ever cheated on anyone? Maybe he made mistakes in his past, but the important thing is, did he learn? You should be able to see the truth on his face when he answers.
  8. How do you feel about sex? You need to know what sex truly means to your partner. If you haven’t had sex, why not? Are you both just not ready, or is one or both of you planning to wait until marriage? It may not be a dealbreaker, but it’s certainly something any woman would want to know. 
  9. How do you handle your finances? Does he still get help from his parents? Can he pay his bills on time? Does he have any debt? When it comes to a relationship, money can be a pretty serious component. If he can’t handle his cash, it’s something you should know from the beginning, before his debt becomes yours.
  10. What do you like about me? I think it’s pretty standard that guys hate this question, but that doesn’t mean you should be afraid to ask. Don’t expect an answer right away, but give him time to think. When he does answer, you’ll know if he likes you for you, or if the attraction is purely superficial.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.