I’m In An Amazing Relationship But I Never Talk About It For These Reasons

My husband and I got married last November. Before that, we’d been dating for over eight years. Outside of those basic facts, I probably wouldn’t tell you any other personal details about our relationship. If you really started to press me on the topic, I’d get super awkward and start looking for the nearest exit. Here’s why I’m not into talking about how happy I am with my guy:

  1. My relationship doesn’t define me. I like to think of myself as a strong, independent woman. I never felt like I had to be with a guy or that my self-worth was somehow tied into who I was or wasn’t dating. Maybe this is because I was raised by a single mom who never acted like anything was missing or maybe it’s just the way I am. Yes, I’m happy in my relationship, but I’m still my own person. Let’s talk about that, please!
  2. I’m complete on my own. I can’t stand when people refer to their partner as their “other half” — sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a bit. Seriously, think about what that means. It’s basically saying you weren’t even a whole person until you met your significant other. That’s just terrible! How did you function before? How will you continue living if something happens? I love to be with my husband, but we can carry on independently and I think that’s healthy.
  3. It’s unfair to paint this picture of a perfect relationship. I know my husband and I aren’t perfect. Life would be so boring if we were! It’d be misleading for me to only tell my friends all of the sweet things he does or what a good partner I am. First of all, it’s not always that way. Second, my relationship doesn’t exist to make others feel bad. It isn’t helpful for me to paint this picture of him as some knight in shining armor or myself as some queen. Yuck. It’s better that our relationship, both the good and the bad, stays between us. That’s much more fair for everyone involved.
  4. I don’t want to cheapen it. If I was always talking to others about our relationship, I feel like it would diminish or tarnish what we have. Our relationship is something special meant for just us. I think talking about it all the time in some gooey way would ruin it for me. I like our bubble, thank you.
  5. Honestly, I hate when other people won’t shut up about their partners. Whenever someone tells me about how wonderful their relationship is, I always get a funny feeling that just the opposite is true. If things were really that great, you wouldn’t need validation from me. Please leave me out of it. I’m happy you’re happy and yes, a few silly details every now and then are great. I just don’t want your new relationship to become the basis of ours.
  6. I’m afraid to bring up yours. This is for those friends of mine who are in not so great relationships (to say the least). I don’t want to bring up my significant other because I’m afraid it will lead to a discussion about yours. I hate the way that dark cloud passes over you whenever you talk about your partner. You’re not being treated the way you should be and you know it. I honestly don’t want to hear the most recent, horrible thing your partner did because it makes me so upset. I’ve had that conversation too many times, and I’ll do whatever it takes to not bring it up again. Instead of mentioning my partner, I’ll just go home afterward and give my husband an extra big hug. These conversations always remind me of how lucky I am.
  7. Not everything needs to be on social media. I’ve been in a happy relationship for almost nine years, and I still roll my eyes when someone posts something sappy on Facebook or Instagram about their partner. Love is not a competition! Stop trying to act like what you have is better. Love is love. It should be a private affair. I don’t need to know about it, and frankly, I don’t want to.
  8. It’s not applicable to my daily life. My relationship doesn’t come up a lot during my day-to-day life. I go to work, the gym, grocery shopping, out with friends, and none of these situations really call for me to randomly start telling people about my relationship. It would just be weird and kind of creepy if I did!
  9. My friendships exist outside of my husband. I’m very proud of this one. I met most of my really good friends in high school before my significant other was a part of my life. We had plenty to talk about then over our classy java chip Frappuccinos, and we still do now over our classy boxed wine. We’ve come so far in life!
  10. I’m a little superstitious. Maybe, in the end, I am just a little superstitious. I don’t want to jinx it! I’m incredibly lucky and happy. (Instantly knocks on wood and throws salt over shoulder.) I don’t want that to change!
Victoria Hill is a freelance writer in Boston. Originally from Florida, she is slowly becoming accustomed to Boston winters. She loves writing, coffee, and actually experiencing seasons!