Are You In Love With Him Or Unhealthily Obsessed?

Are You In Love With Him Or Unhealthily Obsessed? ©iStock/AmmentorpDK

You want a love like Beyoncé and Jay-Z… well, before Lemonade. You think you’re head over heels, crazy in love but are you really, or are you just plain crazy? Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Is he a priority or your life’s purpose? You can definitely make your boyfriend a priority in your life but your life shouldn’t revolve around him. If he’s your whole world, that’s a pretty sad world you live in. Your life should have more purpose and meaning beyond your relationship with some guy.
  2. Is your love reciprocated? Does he love you just as much or is your love unrequited (or at the very least uneven)? Is he the object of your affection or the obsession of your life? If you don’t have an actual relationship then you haven’t had the chance to actually fall in love with each other. You don’t love him, you just want to and that’s what’s crazy.
  3. Do you actually know this person? Just because you love someone and they don’t love you back doesn’t necessarily mean you’re crazy, but if you don’t even know this person then you’re officially cuckoo for his cocoa puffs. Have you ever met? Had a real conversation? Are you in love with him or just the idea of him? There’s a difference… and it might just be your sanity.
  4. Is he your ex? Are you even still together or has he moved on with someone else? Maybe he did love you once, but if the relationship is over and done, then you need to get over it too. Your ex has a right to move on and you need to let him — not just for his sake, but for your own. Holding onto the past is crazy, so worry about your future.
  5. Could you survive without him? Or is your life dependent on his presence? What you need to realize is that you don’t need him or any guy to survive. You may not want to live without him, but you could. That realization is sanity. If you think your life would cease to exist without him, that’s crazy. Your life should never depend on a relationship. That’s just unhealthy.
  6. Do you snoop through his crap? You’ve cracked all his passwords or at least look at his phone every time he leaves it alone with you. In fact, you haven’t just gone through every aspect of his social media, you’ve also searched his computer like you’re the CIA. He hasn’t visited a website or talked to another living person without your knowledge. Has the fact that you’re full on crazy even registered?
  7. Do you stalk his every move? If you constantly need to know where he is, what he’s doing, and who he’s doing it with, then your crazy is in high gear. You’re his girlfriend (or are you?), not his keeper. You’re a big part of his life but you’re not in control of it. You need to let go of the reins a little and give your partner room to breathe. Just because he’s with you doesn’t mean he should have to give up all his freedom… now that’s crazy.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.