I’m An Independent & Ambitious Woman But I Also Really Want A Husband

While being single seems to be synonymous with killing it professionally these days, I don’t think that has to be the case. I have two goals in life: continuing to find success in my work and wanting to find a partner who, yes, can become my husband. Here’s why I don’t think that’s a problem:

  1. I’ve always wanted what my parents have. My mom and dad have been together for decades. They met in their early 20s and built their life from scratch. They even started their own business and worked together. I’ve always wanted what they have — both a great love story and a deep friendship. They’ve supported each other through their career changes, ups and downs, and goals. I truly believe that marriage and career aren’t two different dreams.
  2. I want someone to inspire me. I would never date a guy who didn’t love his job or have the greatest work ethic. It’s just not in my DNA. Since I want a partner who shares the same career ambition that I do, I want to be inspired by him. I want us to motivate each other and help each other find as much success as possible.
  3. I’m working on my work/life balance. Not everyone believes that this balance is a real thing. Maybe my personal life and my work to-do list aren’t always in perfect harmony with each other, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop fighting for that. Since I’m already focusing on my work/life balance, I figure I’ll be ready when I meet the right person to really give them my all. At that point, making my relationship as much of a priority as my job will be pretty simple.
  4. There’s more than one way to live. Back in the day, a woman had to get married and pretty much walk out of her parents’ house into her husband’s arms. That’s thankfully not the case today. There’s more than one way to live and that means being single, being in a relationship, getting married and having kids, getting married and not having kids… and working no matter what. I don’t think that having a husband and a job is an either/or thing. It just doesn’t make sense to live in the 1950s when it’s 2017.
  5. Marriage is as good as you make it. I have friends who don’t believe in the so-called “institution of marriage” and there are tons of women in my generation who’d rather not walk down that aisle. But marriage is only as good as you make it. You can have the worst marriage ever… if you had the worst relationship ever before that. I plan on having a great one and it’s not going to kill my other goals.
  6. Not every guy hates ambition. Sure, there are guys who think that my love of work is super weird and they don’t get why I wake up in the morning excited to get writing. But those are the guys that I’m not interested in. I know that not every guy hates ambition and that when I do meet a great one, he won’t expect me to give up on my dreams just because we’re in love and ready to start our lives together. If he does, well, I’ll leave him and find someone else.
  7. Life isn’t black and white. There are so many sides to every story and so many ways to approach any situation. I refuse to see life as black and white. I’m not going to assume that I have to give up the search for love, put my head down and work like a crazy person — and I’m not going to assume that I have to go on a million dates and ignore my deadlines, either. It’s okay to want both of these things.
  8. I’m not lame or pathetic for wanting to be a wife. Unfortunately, most of my generation seems to think that tying the knot is pretty stupid and that it’s better to be in a common law relationship. I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with wanting to be a wife. I don’t care what anyone my age says. Love is NOT dead, no matter what people might think, and I’m going to ignore any naysayers.
  9. Marriage is a thing for a reason. I once heard someone say that when they got married, they breathed a sigh of relief because it meant that they had someone by their side through all the ups and downs of life. That’s honestly the best definition of marriage and that’s what makes me respect the idea so much. I figure that people have been getting married since forever and they will keep getting married. It must exist for a reason and it has to be a good one.
  10. I want more, not less. I’m the type of person who’s either totally obsessed with a food, TV show or topic or couldn’t possibly be more bored. I want to add more to my life and always keep learning and growing, and I don’t want to have less. Why would I approach my love life any differently?
  11. I actually believe in having it all. I grew up being told that this was possible. I could be married, have a family and have a job too. My mom always worked and it’s never occurred to me to be a stay-at-home parent. I know that these days, people say that having it all is not a reality because people say “You can have it all, but not all at once.” I don’t care what they say. It’s still what I want for my future.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.