I’m As Independent As It Gets, But I Still Love The Idea Of A Traditional Marriage

I’m As Independent As It Gets, But I Still Love The Idea Of A Traditional Marriage iStock/PeopleImages

Being a strong, independent woman with a love for old-school romanticism is often misconstrued in today’s society. I pride myself on being totally self-sufficient, but I still believe in a more classic husband-and-wife dynamic for my own personal future. It’s not that I’m aspiring to be a subservient woman or that I’m incapable of doing things for myself; it’s just that I’ve always pictured actually getting married someday, even if I know I technically don’t need to. I’ve spent plenty of years on my own, and I’ve conquered the “strong and independent female” thing — that part of me will never change — but even though I’m perfectly fine on my own, I still want to tie the knot.

  1. I actually want to make those vows. I’m a woman that deeply believes that once I meet that perfect guy for me who I love with my entire heart, I’ll actually want to commit to him in a sacred way that no common law or basic long-term commitment could ever satisfy. I actually want to get up in front of my family and the people that mean the most to me in my life and pledge my love, fidelity, and forever commitment to the guy who finally earns my heart.
  2. I like the feeling of being protected by a man who loves me. I’m a truly resilient woman. I can stand up for myself and defend myself strongly without issue, but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to enjoy the kind of protection and dominance that comes from the man in my life. I know I could just as easily have that same dynamic with a guy who’s just my boyfriend, but there’s something about the official husband role and title I find extremely comforting.
  3. I actually enjoy doing some of those classic and cliche wife duties. Maybe I’m a walking cliche, but I really don’t care. I enjoy doing those womanly tasks like the laundry, cooking, and baking delicious things. Just because I enjoy doing traditionally feminine things in a relationship doesn’t mean I’m not a badass woman all-around. I’m not a doormat — I’m simply a woman who enjoys making people happy, and that includes the man I’m sharing my life with, too.
  4. I plan on marrying for love, not monetary gain. Marriage used to commonly be more about business than pleasure, but plenty of women married under the old-fashioned logic that you met someone, you fell madly in love and the natural next step was to vow to spend forever with them. I’m a fan of the latter definition. Call me mad, but I’ve always believed that marriage should be the product of love.
  5. I want to celebrate the love that took me forever to find. I’ve been single for a long time and in that time, I’ve slayed my life in a lot of ways. I’ve built myself a home, a career, and a strong and independent skill set for taking care of myself. When I do finally find the right love for me, you bet your ass I’m going to want to show it off and lock it down for the world to see. Why wouldn’t I?
  6. I want a family of my own. I know I could easily have kids of on my own through the amazing options science has to offer or with someone I’ll never end up marrying, but I actually enjoy the idea of marriage and taking those traditional steps towards building a life together first. I’m not the religious type whatsoever, so religion isn’t playing a factor in my choice; I simply want the foundation of love and marriage first.
  7. Yes, I will wear his last name proudly. Despite the fact that some women are against having to take a man’s last name through marriage, I actually love the idea and have always been eager to find the guy whose name I’ll wear proudly. To me, the idea of marriage means I’m proud AF of the love that I share with someone to the degree that I don’t just want to celebrate it with a wedding — I also want to carry his name with mine forever.
  8. I come from a family of love and commitment. I’m pretty lucky in the sense that I had a great example of love set for me by my parents. They’ve been married for well over 30 years and got married against the approval of many people around them, but they didn’t care because their love was too strong to deny. My parents taught me my relationship goals, and although I realize others don’t share my same point of view or perhaps grew up differently than I did, I won’t apologize for wanting an old-school love just like the one I was raised around.
  9. I want a best friend and partner for life other than myself. As much as I pride myself on taking care of myself and dominating my life in any and all ways, I also want a husband who will be my rock, shield, and best friend against this mad thing called life. Through sickness, through health, through good times and through the bad ones, too. I’m a strong and independent woman who’s perfectly capable of braving life on my own and have been for many years, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still believe in old fashioned marriage.