10 Totally Innocent Things I Did That Got Me Labeled A “Tease”

I hate it when guys call women a tease, especially because they tend to throw this term around when we just don’t give them what they want. It’s totally unfair and actually really offensive. Here are 10 reasons I’ve been called a tease that were total BS.

I joked around with guys.

I like to joke around and laugh with people, but why is it that some guys assume that just because you laugh with them it means that you’re sending out flirting signals? It’s not necessarily the case! I was just being nice!

I made a lot of eye contact.

I’m not talking about creepy eye contact here. I’m talking about just making healthy eye contact that showed I was interested in the conversation and giving the guy I was on a date with my undivided attention. But once, a guy I was on a date with said that I was being a tease when I didn’t want to go back to his place afterwards. His reason? I had given him so much attention. Note to dudes: eye contact and showing interest doesn’t mean we’re down for sex.

I had great comebacks up my sleeve.

One guy I got into a debate with in a pub spent hours talking to me. It was awesome… until he asked me out. I didn’t view him in a romantic way and when I tried you to explain this, he called me a tease. Uh, what? So we can’t just talk anymore?

I told him I had feelings.

There was a guy I was really into and I was tired of waiting for him to ask me out, so I told him I had feelings for him. By the end of the conversation, he was hinting that he wanted me to go back to his place. I guess he wanted a casual, no-strings-attached scenario and thought I’d be down because I had feelings for him? Apparently, if you tell a guy that you’re into him, that’s a clear sign that you want to jump his bones ASAP. Ugh.

I engaged in dirty talk.

Right, so having dirty talk with a guy might mean that you’re interested in having sex, but it doesn’t have to be. I tried to tell this to the guy I was exchanging saucy texts with, but he said that dirty talk was basically the gateway to actually having sex.

I delayed having sex.

I’m no prude, but there have been times when I haven’t wanted to jump into bed with someone I just started dating right away. I waited a few months with one guy, but it was weird. Just kissing him or flirting with him would make him call me a tease because I wasn’t “closing the deal,” as he said it. Whatever happened to pacing yourself?

I liked to dress up. 

This could possibly be the most ridiculous time I was called a tease. I got dressed up to the nines and went out with a guy I’d recently met. He then said that I was dressing up as though trying to impress male suitors and that made me a tease because I wasn’t actually the type to go home with them. Um, what? Dude, I like to dress up for myself, thank you very much.

I changed my mind at the last minute.

Once, I was kissing a guy and things were heating up fast. We ended up in bed together but just as he was taking his clothes off, I told him that I didn’t want to have sex. I changed my mind. He basically got angry with me and told me that I was stringing him along. I get that it sucks, but it’s my right to stop the process of foreplay or whatever we were doing at any time. That’s not being a tease, that’s being a woman who changed her mind. Deal with it, dude.

I played hard to get. 

I used to like playing hard to get in the dating game at times, especially if the guy was giving me mixed messages and I didn’t want to put my heart out on the line. But that didn’t mean I was cold towards the guy. I just didn’t want to give too much away. One guy said that definitely made me a tease because I was playing with his feelings. Meanwhile, I wasn’t even trying to!

I was “too polite.”

When I got hit on by a guy in the supermarket, I felt shy and put on the spot. I didn’t want to be mean or anything, so I still engaged in conversation and was nice to him. No reason to be mean, right? Anyway, when I told him I wasn’t interested because I had a boyfriend, he said that being too polite actually made me a tease so I should watch out for that in future. I bet if I had been nasty to him he would’ve called me uptight or bitchy. I just can’t win.  

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