Insecurities Can Ruin Your Love Life, But It Doesn’t Have To Be Like That

Insecurities suck. They make you feel anxious and uncertain, erode your confidence, and hold you back in life. Getting over your self-doubt and accepting yourself 100% is an uphill battle for everyone, and it starts with identifying what your insecurities are and how they influence your actions. Once you recognize these habits or behaviors, you can begin to change them and live a happier, healthier life.  If you’re guilty of any of these 9 things, you’re allowing your insecurities to get in the way of your relationships and totally mess up your love life.

  1. You’re not going after the guy you deserve. Your insecurities tell you that you don’t deserve a great guy and he wouldn’t be interested, anyway. Or, you think a relationship with a wonderful man would inevitably end, so you date down to decrease the odds of being left. Break this cycle and stop dating losers because you do, in fact, deserve a great guy, and there’s one out there waiting for you.
  2. You’re always the one compromising in relationships. All serious relationships involve compromises and some give and take. When you let your insecurities run the show, you’ll end up being the one doing all of the bending. You should be a priority in your own life, or the constant giving will leave you feeling regretful or resentful and make you an easy target to be taken advantage of.
  3. You don’t believe in love when you have it. How can you believe someone else loves you when you don’t even love yourself? Insecurities make you doubt your partner’s love and intentions and can cause you to make annoying demands to “prove” their love to you.
  4. You’re constantly suspicious that your relationships are ending. Insecurities make you super sensitive to any signs of trouble in a relationship. Your man hasn’t magically stopped loving you just because he went on a guys night without you, didn’t text you back immediately, or showed up a little late to a date. It’s not your fault if you’re sensitive to things types of things, but your response will most likely be considered an overreaction and cause tension in a relationship.
  5. You overshare on social media. People who are insecure in their relationships are the people posting pictures constantly with captions about how they have the best guy ever. You’re not just annoying your partner with this, you’re annoying everyone you know.
  6. You can be jealous, needy, or mistrusting. These are classic ways insecurities manifest themselves in relationships and poison your connection. A person can only take so much of this before they want to end things, especially if they haven’t done anything to deserve you acting this way.
  7. You can never fully let go in bed.If you’re insecure about your body and your sexuality, having a fulfilling sex life can be challenging. It’s easy to get distracted or uncomfortable if you don’t feel confident naked, and hard to speak up for your needs in bed if you’re feeling unsure of yourself. Being safe, secure, and confident is critical to having a satisfying sex life, which is important to a lot of couples.
  8. You actively sabotage your relationship to avoid being hurt. Your breakup is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You don’t believe it will last, so you sabotage it as a way of being in control. You think your partner will eventually realize you’re not good enough, so you act nuts or cheat to end the relationship before that happens.
  9. You don’t give your love at all. Great love takes courage and confidence. If insecurities are holding you back from making moves and taking risks, you’re unlikely to find a rewarding and fulfilling relationship. Make loving yourself a priority so you can be the kind of person who goes out in the world and gets what they want.
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.