Instagrandstanding Is The New Thirst Trapping Trend You May Be Guilty Of

There’s nothing wrong with plastering your Instagram feed with amazing selfies for those days when you know you look bomb as hell—haters not welcome!—but generally speaking, they should be to big yourself up rather than to get your crush’s attention. That’s called Instagrandstanding, i.e. curating your feed specifically for one person. Are you guilty?

  1. It’s thirst trapping at its finest. Who hasn’t set a thirst trap once or twice? Posting a hot photo of yourself because you know the person you like is looking and you want their attention isn’t the worst thing in the world, but Instagrandstanding takes this generally innocuous behavior to the extreme.
  2. It can come off as a little desperate. Sure, you might just seem ultra confident (or up your own butt a little too much), but if your friends or your crush catches onto you, it could start looking a little desperate. There’s nothing wrong with feeling yourself and wanting to look your best, but when you start tailoring all your posts to a specific person, things get a little cringe-y.
  3. You’re not being your authentic self. When you’re curating your posts with someone in mind, you’re basically creating a persona you want them to believe is truly you. In reality, life isn’t filtered selfies and fancy restaurant spreads. It’s OK to post the “boring” picture of your dog rolling in mud or your new PJs you bought at Target this weekend.
  4. It’s really hard to maintain. Having to always be “on” on social media is exhausting in the best of situations, but when you’re specifically maintaining a feed to appeal to one particular person, you’re constantly having to stay in the role of the woman you want the other person to believe you are. What happens if you actually end up together and they see the “normal” you?
  5. It’s not worth the time and effort. Seriously, Instagrandstanding takes a ton of time and energy that’s better spent on other things. Whether that’s hitting up the gym, spending time outdoors, reading, learning a new language, hanging out with your girls—doesn’t that sound like much more fun than setting up pictures to get someone’s attention?
  6. If they’re worth your time, thirst-trapping isn’t necessary. Seriously, if your crush is worthy of being in your life in the first place, you won’t have to curate and keep up an image to get and keep their attention. They’ll like the regular old boring you just as you are, no thirst trapping necessary.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia