“You come here often?” Insert eye roll. There’s nothing worse than a guy who’s spewing BS lines to get us to go home with him. It’s such a turnoff! Whatever happened to guys making women feel special, not like objects? And whatever happened to good conversation? If only guys would stop hitting on us and do these things instead, the world would be a better place.
- Be the ten-minute man. Instead of trying to come up with clever things to say to get our attention, guys should have a real, honest conversation with us and see where it goes. This is so much more chilled and intriguing, and it’s guaranteed to make the conversation last longer than two minutes.
- Take the time to figure us out. They think they’re into us because of our bodies or our smiles, but that physical stuff is superficial and doesn’t impress her at all. Guys should be taking their time to get to know us to see if we ey actually have a connection that’s more than just physical because honestly, we can get sex anywhere.
- Compliment everything but our bodies. Guys who fall into the trap of giving women the same old compliments need to realize they’re not the first person to say this stuff. They should go deeper and make their comments meaningful. A good tip is to focus on everything about us EXCEPT what we look like. The result is a more creative, interesting approach that doesn’t feel sleazy.
- Send us a friend request. No guy wants to get friendzoned, but friendship is the basis of every great relationship. It means people can be comfortable, silly, and serious together, and that they genuinely like each other. If guys meet us with the mindset of being our friends, it takes the pressure off anything romantic happening while putting us at ease. It’s also a gentler approach to ask to be friends on Facebook than to demand our numbers.
- Know when to back off. Okay, so a guy is interested in us and wants to approach us at the gym or pub. He makes a move, we have a conversation, and then he keeps hanging around. Oh gosh, why did he have to become creepy? Instead of hogging our company or being in our faces, guys should know when to back off. They should leave some mystery and give us time to figure out what we think about them instead of cornering us like desperate salesmen.
- Get some interest. Let’s set a rule: if a guy’s not genuinely interested in us, he shouldn’t hit on us. This shouldn’t be a numbers game! If he’s genuinely interested in who we are and what we’re about and he loves our company without thinking it’s a stepping stone to his bed, that’s what will make us want to be around him.
- Make us laugh if he’s funny. It sounds silly, but it’s true: if a man can make a woman laugh, he’s winning. Humor is linked to intelligence and positivity. When we see a man who can laugh about things, it shows strength against life’s darkness. But here’s the catch: guys shouldn’t be funny if they’re not funny guys! Then they have to whip out other great qualities. There’s nothing worse than a guy who’s trying too hard to be funny.
- Open up. Instead of asking us a million questions or using a silly pickup line, guys should dare to open up about themselves. This shows that they’re not just trying to get something out of the interaction but are investing in it. Nice.
- Show quirks. People’s quirks and flaws are what make them charming. Guys should be comfortable with who they are because it makes them seem confident and sexy, much more than when they’re trying so hard to be the alpha male hitting on us at the bar. Ugh.
- Know how to stare. Body language is important, but eye contact has to be done in a non-creepy way. Creepy: he stares and stares like he’s trying to hypnotize us from across the club. Not creepy: he makes eye contact for a few seconds, looks away, then comes over and talks to us. Chasing the eye contact with an actual conversation so that the evening isn’t wasted with eye-balling each other across the room makes things appealing instead of awkward.
- Buy us a coffee instead of a drink. Instead of bringing some pink drinks over or sending them anonymously (creepy, much?), a guy should bring his crush a coffee when he knows we’re going to be having a tough day and could use the caffeine kick. Yes, it might be hard to bring us coffee at a club, but the point is to approach women outside of those party spots because then flirting and showing interest can be more down-to-earth and practical. Then, a guy’s not just giving us something to make us like him, but something that makes our day better.
- Be chivalrous just because. If a guy puts on the charm just to get us to like him, it’s shady AF. Don’t guys get that women can see right through that? On the other hand, when a man’s chivalrous just because that’s who he is and he really cares about us without a hidden agenda, it makes him so much more attractive.
- Cut the BS. There’s something to be said for a man who can approach us and be upfront about why he’s doing so. For instance, maybe we caught his attention and he didn’t want to waste an opportunity to chat with us or he’d really like to have a conversation with someone who seems intelligent. Whatever the reason, if his approach is honest and pisses us off, it’s still better than if he’s pretending to be interested in a conversation when he just wants to see our lingerie. That’s so much worse!
