It’s easy to get bogged down in all craziness of relationships and forget that you’re your own person and you deserve to be put first. In the same way you do everything in your power to find a date, plan romantic moments, and keep your relationship alive, you should pour all that effort and energy into your own life. You’ve spent your whole life fighting for love, it’s time you start fighting for yourself.
Don’t push aside your needs for the needs of others.
Be honest about what you want. Instead of trying to tiptoe around other people’s needs and desires, speak your own mind. If something is important to you, ask for it. Even if you don’t get what you want, you might end up with a compromise that’s more satisfying than nothing. It’s not selfish to prioritize your happiness. Once you grant yourself permission to not do things that don’t feel right to you, you can start being more true to who you are.
See yourself as a warrior.
If you’re going to fight for yourself, you have to start looking at yourself as a warrior. You have to realize that you’re the one in control of your life. You have to own it. When something goes wrong, look inwards and figure out a way to make it work next time instead of letting your emotions take over, playing the blame game, and indulging in feelings of shame or guilt.
Accept that you’re not perfect.
Life is unpredictable. Things happen and it doesn’t make sense half the time. You’ll never be able to enjoy your life if you can’t see the beauty in it. When you’re focused on being perfect, you’re always going to be at war with yourself. Nothing will ever be good enough for you. Every time you get something that you want, you’re going to find a way to make it seem insignificant. You’re a flawed human being just like everyone else, you just have to make peace with that.
Make time for what brings you joy.
When you’re in love, you don’t always do what’s practical. You make time for romance and spending time with your partner even when it doesn’t fit into your schedule. It’s okay to take a break if you need one. As tempting and easy as it is, you don’t have to spend all your time focused on working harder or making more money. Create the time to do things that you find bliss in. Don’t make excuses, just schedule it. If you feel guilty, remind yourself that your happiness is more important than things you have to do.
Believe in your abilities.
Remember that thing you once thought you couldn’t do but you’re so good at now? All it takes to get where you want to go is a little belief. You take it one step at a time, put in the necessary work, and wait for the results to start coming in. I used to start and abandon my Spanish lessons because I thought it’d be impossible for me to learn a whole other language now, but then I finally decided to take it seriously. Today, I can speak and write Spanish pretty well. Have a little faith in yourself and get to work.
Don’t beat yourself up over your past mistakes.
There are probably things you’ve done that you have regrets about, but so has everyone. The goal is to be a better person than you were then, not to hate yourself for making mistakes that could have been avoided. When it comes to relationships, you don’t spend forever agonizing over something you or your partner did or didn’t do. Why should you let things in your personal life keep you down for long?
Be kind to yourself.
How you treat and talk to yourself is incredibly important. Drop all that nonsense about being your own harshest critic. You can’t help yourself if you’re being cruel to yourself. You don’t need bad energy in your life, and the person you need it from is yourself. You have to believe that you’re enough and deserving of good things. Instead of telling yourself that you can’t do something, just go on and try it. You’re capable of more than you think. Be your own cheerleader.
Don’t give up.
How many times have you refused to give up on love even when it seemed like the easiest way out? How many times has your heart been broken and you kept fighting to get back up, to try your hands at dating again instead of staying down? Why should you give easily on yourself? Never forget how stubborn you are. You cannot quit on yourself. Even when it gets hard, remember that you’re worth fighting for. When you f*ck things up, see it as a learning experience and just keep fighting for the things you want.
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