10 Insults Single Women Hear All The Time That Are Actually Compliments

Being single can feel like preparing for battle every day. From annoying family members to well-meaning friends, everyone has an opinion on your status, even though you’ve announced your happiness a million times. If you’re not worrying about the people in your life saying silly things, you have to get assaulted by the media’s commentary on how you’re halfway to becoming a nutty cat lady. When you hear these 10 insults, smile and take them as total compliments, because that’s what they actually are.

  1. You’re too picky. Okay, you’re picky. You admit it. You even embrace it. This is actually awesome because you won’t settle for anything less than what you deserve and you’re not with someone for the sake of calling him your boyfriend. You walk around wondering why people aren’t more picky, especially when your friends date such jerks.
  2. You’re super selfish. For some reason, society’s picture of a single woman is someone who lounges around all the time eating bonbons (does anyone actually eat bonbons?). Guess what? I know it sounds nuts but people in serious relationships can be selfish, too. That’s why couples get into so many massive arguments about how their emotional needs aren’t being met. There’s nothing wrong with focusing on yourself. This is the only life you’ll ever have, after all.
  3. You care too much about your career. And this is a bad thing?! Can we all just agree to stop equating being in love with not wanting a job? It’s totally possible to be single and successful, just like it’s possible to have a boyfriend and an amazing work life, too. Sure, sometimes you take a hiatus from the search for love because you want to give all your attention to work, but it shouldn’t be an insult. As one of my BFFs says, work is satisfying because you get out what you put into it (unlike all those deadbeat dates).
  4. You’re wasting the best years of your life. If someone says this to you (usually a nosy relative at an awkward holiday party), you can proudly say it’s not a waste at all. Your 20s are prime time for figuring out who you truly are, who you want to be, and how to merge your past with the future you’re dying for. It can be tricky to do that within a super serious relationship when you have to consider someone else’s needs 24/7. Sure, you want that commitment when it’s right for you, but it’ll happen when it happens, and by then you’ll have done all the necessary work to be super ready.
  5. You should just get married and have babies already. It’s awesome that you’re waiting to have a family and creating your dream career/apartment/life in the meantime, so don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. If you come from a small town, you probably have way too many real friends and Facebook friends who kissed their dreams and goals goodbye and got married super young.
  6. You’re too independent. Nope, not really an insult. You pay your own bills, take care of your apartment, cook (or attempt to). Of course you’re independent. And you’ll stay that way even when you find someone you’re into. Why would you want to rely on a guy so much that you don’t know how to do anything for yourself?
  7. Love is amazing and it’s a shame you’re missing out. Some women have been in relationships their entire lives, basically, and can never imagine having to go it alone for even a few months. They’re just putting their fears and insecurities onto you, and you don’t have to let them. You agree that love is pretty awesome, and that’s why you’re single right now. You want to meet the right guy instead of dating someone you don’t even like, because that’s not a road that leads to love.
  8. You must be so lonely. This is actually the best thing someone could say to you, because you know the truth: yes, you do feel lonely sometimes. But that also forces you to fill your life and your calendar with fun people, good friends and big adventures. Life is not as comfortable as it would be if you had someone waiting for you at home every time you went out, but this alone time is making you into the person you need to be.
  9. You do whatever you want. Of course you do. And you would if you had a boyfriend (within reason, of course). You don’t let anyone hold you back from your dreams and that’s a very good thing.
  10. You need to put yourself out there more. You know the truth: if you put yourself out there anymore, you would be even more annoyed with dating than you already are most of the time. You’re dating as much as you choose to, and saving yourself some unnecessary frustration and heartbreak in the process. At the end of the day, when you’re happy with your choices and living your best life, who cares what anyone says?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.