Ladies, Don’t Let Your Interest In A Guy Turn Into Thirst — Here’s The Difference

Thirst is about lust, desire, and sometimes downright obsession over being with the object of your affection. It’s a whole lot different than merely expressing interest in someone, which is less intense and much more innocent (and PG-13 rated). If you’re still struggling with telling the two concepts apart, here’s some guidance so you can hopefully avoid embarrassing yourself.

  1. Thirst is kind of desperate, to be frank. Not always, I’ll grant you — sometimes thirst is just extreme randiness but it can veer over to dangerous real quick. Thirst is just… thirsty. It’s unquenchable. You want to guzzle it down as fast as possible and never mind the brain freeze. With interest, your palette is more refined – you want to sip, not shotgun.
  2. Keeping the late night conversations out of booty call territory shows interest. You know, those late night talks that last for hours, the ones you never want to end even though you know you have to be up in four hours – that’s interest. Late night booty calls are thirsty. No judgment — everybody needs to scratch an itch sometimes and you never know when the urge might strike — but there’s a difference between deep, soul-searching conversations and a “wyd?” text punctuated by the smirking emoji.
  3. Thirsty talks about itself all night long. Quenching a thirst is all about the upsell. When you’re thirsty and you’re with the one person in the world who can slake it, all you want to do is talk about yourself. You’re selling yourself to get to the end result. Showing interest involves asking about the other person too, and talking about more than your cute party trick, your quirky tattoo in an unmentionable place, or how much you can bench.
  4. Interest involves giving things a chance. Interest is more patient. You’re willing to invest time into someone you like because you want to see if there’s a possibility for something deep, real, and long-lasting. Thirst is impatience personified. You ain’t got time for coyness, cat and mouse games, or maybes because you want the other person NOW.
  5. Thirsty falls “in love” within two weeks, tops. Actually, let me correct that. Thirsty falls in infatuation within two weeks, and when it burns hard and fast, infatuation can look a lot like love. Again, interest takes its time. The people who pique your interest are worth getting to know over a longer period.
  6. When you’re interested, you flirt. It might be subtle, cheeky, or ostentatious – whatever your flirting style happens to be. The way you act around someone who leaves you thirsty isn’t quite the same as an innocent flirtation. It tends to be more aggressive and upfront. Coyness is once again left at home.
  7. Thirst just throws out sexual innuendo all the time. You’ll Instagram a provocative picture, tweet a risque quote, or Snapchat a sexy video. As with flirting, however, the interested side of the coin is subtle. If there’s innuendo, it’s buried and clever and not usually so sexual.
  8. Thirst also makes you like an Instagram pic from 36 weeks ago. Thirst is powerful and distracting – distracting enough to cause this mortifying mistake. You may well Insta-stalk someone you’re interested in, but your head’s in the game enough to avoid any accidental clicks — that is, if you’re not thirsty and are in your right mind.
  9. Thirst craves validation. Thirst wants – needs – to know that it’s sexy, desirable, and wanted. Thirst has to be quenched. Interest does not require validation. Thirst goes deep, so if it’s not reciprocated, it’s frustrating and can even make you angry. Typically, interest is more mature – you understand if someone else isn’t interested in you. It’s a bummer but not worth a tantrum.
  10. Thirst is obsessed with the physical. Not just physical acts or physical attraction, either – thirst focuses on physical appearance first and foremost. A pair of smoldering eyes, full lips, sharp hips, shredded abs – these are thirst traps and they catch you so fast. You can become interested in someone for so much more than that – their mind, their sense of humor, their self-confidence.
  11. Interest can blossom into something pretty beautiful. Thirst can too, but that’s rare. Taking the time to nurture your interest usually results in sweet rewards – a relationship, a marriage, or even a friendship.
west virginia native, new hampshire transplant, parisian in the depths of my unimpressed soul. owner of an impressive resting bitch face. writer and reader. fluent in sarcasm and snark. lover of lower case and the oxford comma.