Relationships are butterflies and rainbows, but they’re also boogie monsters under the bed. There’s nothing like getting to know a new person, while getting to know a new version of yourself with this person AND trying to figure out if it’s the right thing. Naturally, some irrational fears are going to make their way to the surface and try to third wheel your couple time. Here are some of the worst.
- That you’re not good enough. Why does this happen? The guy is sitting in front of you choosing you and still there’s a part of your mind that considers that he might be way better looking and smarter than you and what could he possibly be thinking. Did he make a mistake? Does he need glasses?
- That he’s not good enough. It doesn’t matter that an hour ago you were doubting yourself, doubting him is going to happen too. Like, he isn’t perfect, so what does that say about you for being with him? Stop worrying that people are staring because they feel sorry for you.
- That he’s going to steal your time. You were very happy living your single life thank you very much, no man can just march in here and upheave your regularly scheduled programming. Except you also like his schedule and honestly he has way better taste in food and movies so…
- That you’re not good in bed. Yeah there can be a quite a bit of variation in how fun (or not) sex is, but if he hasn’t given you any reason to think that something isn’t working, don’t even worry about it. Are you having fun?
- That it’s too good to be true. A nice, gentlemanly, smart, hot guy likes you? Who put him up to this and/or what awful thing is he hiding under this delightful façade that you can’t seem to find no matter how hard you look?
- That you’re not ladylike enough. What year is this? The jig is sort of up, women have bodily functions and opinions, and might even swear on occasion. He’s a man, so by default you’re always going to be the more ladylike party.
- That you’ve shared too much too soon. He seems a little off today, is it because you were feeling pouty yesterday and now he’s realized that he’s dating a huge cry baby and your life is over? Probably not.
- That your ex was better. Hey this new guy is super great, but he isn’t anything like your ex. Was your ex a better match for you even though that relationship is over and you wouldn’t go back anyway? Very logical.
- That he’s about to dump you. Look it can happen, but whether you worry about it or not is not going to positively affect the outcome. At all. Stay in the moment for the best odds of actually strengthening this thing instead of keeping one foot out the door based on your irrational fears.