Breaking up with someone face-to-face is considered the gold standard of breakups and the decent thing to do, especially if you’ve been dating for a few months — but is it really the best way? As much as you might hate to admit it, there are actually some pretty big advantages to ending things via text.
- He can’t see your ugly cry. If you’re getting dumped, the most awkward situation is to cry into your latte while he tells you that he’s met someone else. Yes, in a public place while everyone stares at you. Not cool. Plus, you don’t want the last image he has of you to be your crumpled face with mascara running down your cheeks.
- Cutting off a stage 5 clinger gets a whole lot easier. If you’re dating a guy who gives you the impression he wouldn’t let things go or he’s crazy about you, the last thing you want is to spend hours trying to make him understand it’s over. Although breaking up over text might seem impersonal, it’ll probably help the annoying guy who comes on too strong get the message while preventing you from being in an exhausting situation. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
- You can be totally honest. It’s a fact that it’s often much easier to be real when speaking to someone from behind a screen than if they’re staring at you. If you’ve got lots you want to say when breaking up with your boyfriend, but you know you wouldn’t have the guts to do it face-to-face, then let rip via email. Writing down your feelings is also therapeutic and will help you deal.
- You have time to think about your response. Breakups are often emotionally-charged affairs. Sometimes afterwards you might wish you’d said something differently. Breaking up over text is a way to help you process what’s being said to you and gives you a chance to prepare the right response instead of jumping in with an emotional reaction. This way, you won’t look back on your breakup months from now and cringe.
- You don’t get distracted by his hot AF looks. One of the worst things about RL breakups is that you know it’s the last time you’ll ever see your boyfriend and why did he have to meet up with you looking so damn hot? Physical attraction could mess with your resolve or cause you to wonder if breakup sex is a good idea. (Spoiler alert: it’s not.)
- You teach the loser a lesson. OK, sometimes you want your breakup to be explosive, such as if your boyfriend was cheating on you. What better way to give him a bit of revenge and still maintain your dignity than by deleting him on social media and going AWOL? When he texts, you don’t answer. Kapow! When he calls, you screen him. Kapow! You don’t owe him a face-to-face breakup if he couldn’t respect you in your relationship.
- You don’t get caught up in crap. Sometimes having to sit with your partner and hash things out gives you closure. Other times, it’s a guaranteed way to make you feel more confused than ever. This can be the case if you aren’t on the same page about what went wrong in your relationship or there are things to which you don’t feel you’ll ever get answers. It can make you crazy. Detaching yourself a bit by using your phone to do the dirty breakup work can help you lose the confusion and stop wasting any more of your precious time.