Is He Boyfriend Material? 10 Signs He’s Ready For A Real Relationship

You may be head over heels in love with a guy, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s ready for a real relationship. Some men just like the comfort and familiarity of having someone around to have sex with and basically act as his surrogate mother. So, how do you know if he’s ready for a real relationship or if he is just enjoying your company? Here are 10 hints that he’s definitely boyfriend material.

  1. You don’t have to chase him. If you have to chase him down to get him to make plans with you or even have a conversation, he’s more focused on himself and his own priorities. More specifically, you’re nowhere near the top of his list. A guy who’s boyfriend material answers your calls and texts in a reasonable amount of time and he doesn’t have to check his calendar to make plans. Better yet, he’ll plan to do things with you more than a week ahead of time.
  2. He talks to you about everything. From serious matters to more casual topics, he loves to talk with you. If you get on the phone, it could be hours later before you hang up. When you’re hanging out, he doesn’t have to have the television on all the time. Dinner out is a fun evening filled with laughter and conversation that makes you feel happy and uplifted.
  3. You’ve met his friends more than once. He isn’t keeping you to himself. Going out with his friends or to a gathering where there are lots of people he knows is his way of seeing how you’ll fit into his life. When he introduces you to someone that is a part of his daily life, he’s watching to see how you interact with them. More importantly, he’s likely asking them later what they think about you.
  4. You’ve been introduced to his family. If he thinks he wants you in his life for the long-term, you’re going to meet his family. They are going to talk about you after you leave and what they think matters. He wants to know that you’ll fit in with his parents, siblings, and extended family members. Even if you don’t have a lot in common with them, he needs to know that you can handle his family and their little quirks.
  5. He talks about the future and includes you in it. If he never talks about his future plans, it’s likely because he doesn’t think you’ll be part of them. When he does talk to you about the things he has planned for his future, it’s because he wants to see how you feel about them or he wants your input on them. When he starts talking about doing something together next year like taking a trip or buying bikes together, you know he’s ready for a relationship.
  6. He doesn’t need to have sex every single time you get together. If sex is on his agenda every single time he comes to your house or he goes to yours, he might be focused on only that. He could be just putting in the time so he can get to what matters to him. If he’s happy to just be with you and sex is great but not a prerequisite to a date, he’s interested in more than your body.
  7. Labels are fine with him. He’s not afraid to call you his girlfriend and he doesn’t freak out if you call him your boyfriend. Even if the two of you haven’t had the “what are we” conversation yet, you might hear him let the term slip. If he can’t put a label on what the two of you have together, he’s probably not ready for the world to know how he feels about you. He doesn’t want anyone to make any assumptions either.
  8. He doesn’t mention keeping it casual. If a guy isn’t ready for a relationship, he’ll often come right out and say that he wants to keep it casual. That’s guy code for “let’s just have a good time together.” He isn’t at a point in his life where he’s ready to make a commitment.
  9. He wants to know your long-term plans. Your future plans matter to him because he wants to know where he fits into them. If you’re planning on going on a year-long trip through Europe in a few years, he’ll know he isn’t a major part of your future. When he asks for your plans for the future, he’s really asking, “Where do I fit into your life?”
  10. He takes initiative. Planning isn’t left up to you. Not only does he plan out dates but he plans for holidays and work events. Best of all, he’s including you in all of it.

It’s important to know if the guy you’re falling for is ready for a genuine relationship, otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappoinitment. He’s just not in the same space you are right now.  Watch for the above signs. If none of them are there, neither is he!

Danielle has been a freelance writer for 20+ years. She lives in Canada with her dog Rogue and drinks a lot if coffee.