Is He Cheating On Me? How To Know For Sure If He’s Being Unfaithful

Cheating is one of the worst things you can do in a relationship. Usually, it happens due to weakness — or for some people, addiction. A lot of guys feel like they can get away with it, but end up damaging the foundation of their relationship no matter what. Luckily, it’s pretty easy to figure out if he’s cheating on you by looking at the clues. Here are some that shouldn’t be ignored.

  1. He’s suddenly a lot more suspicious with his phone. Everyone deserves a little bit of privacy, but you’ll know if he’s getting extra weird when it comes to his browsing habits. He might have suddenly changed his passcode to something you don’t know, or maybe he’s always double-checking to make sure he didn’t leave his home on a common area in the house. A mistress could literally message at any minute, so he’ll be on guard.
  2. He calls you by the wrong name. This is a tricky one, as the mind can be a little crazy. If he works with a woman named Sophie and then accidentally calls you Sophie at dinner, that shouldn’t be too much a cause for alarm. But if it happens all the time, or if he clams up and gets nervous after he says it, that’s what you’ll want to clue into. An innocent man with nothing to hide won’t dwell on the mistake.
  3. He goes away on business a lot. This is another tricky one since a lot of guys genuinely need to travel a lot. This is where trust becomes so important. If he’s keeping up to date with you and sharing pictures and telling you he misses you, it’s probably legit. But if he tells you that it’s all “boring stuff you don’t need to know about,” that raises a yellow flag. If he shuts down and doesn’t answer your texts until the next morning, that’s a red flag. Everyone has a second to check in.
  4. He treats you differently when you’re out with friends. If he treats you like a queen at home and then like a nag when you’re out with friends, you have a right to be suspicious. It’s possible he’s trying to paint a picture of you being a tiresome or annoying partner. That way, if news of him cheating reached his friend group, they might feel as if they understand his motives after seeing the lack of chemistry between you. Cheaters will very often try to justify their decisions.
  5. His schedule radically changes up. Not everyone has a 9-5 schedule. But if things have changed rapidly with him — like, for example, working nights when he used to work days — something may be afoot. The second that any partner has different hours means that relationship maintenance should be done since it’s really easy for things to fall apart.
  6. PDA has been cut down. It’s okay if you don’t have a guy who likes to hug and kiss in public, but if it starts getting strange in private? Then, you have an issue. When a guy suddenly acts uncomfortable, it may mean he feels like he’s cheating on someone else with you. If your sex life has also been put on the backburner, it’s another clue that he’s physically moved onto someone else.
  7. He gets mad at you for no reason. Suddenly, little things become huge issues. In a way, he could be trying to create drama and chaos as a way to fully break things off. If you have blow-up fights all of a sudden, saying “we should break up since we’re no longer compatible” is a much kinder way to end things than “I’m sleeping with someone else.”
  8. They suddenly feel the need to start losing weight or dieting. Getting healthy is great. But if it’s seemingly come out of nowhere, it may be because there’s someone he’s trying to impress. Strong couples set up a plan to try and lose weight or exercise more together. But if only one of you seems determined, there’s a good possibility the relationship may be on the way out. Exercise brings out a whole new level of confidence in people.
  9. They aren’t following you on social media, or have an account you don’t know about. Secret accounts can be really hurtful. It’s almost like your partner is hiding a part of who they are on purpose. Take a look and see who they’re following — is it primarily other women? Then, you have a good reason to suspect that he may be messaging them inappropriately behind your back.
  10. You catch him smiling at his phone a lot. We all love searching for funny stuff on Reddit. But if he keeps saying he’s smiling at “nothing” it may actually be the response of another partner. If it keeps happening and you’re constantly out of the loop, it’s a good time to get suspicious.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.