Is He Cheating WITH You? Signs You May Be The Other Woman

We’ve all heard horror stories about women who thought they had met the perfect guy, only to find out a few months into the relationship that he has a long term girlfriend, or even worse, a wife. We’d probably like to think that would never happen to us — that we’d see all the warning signs telling us he’s a total scumbag. But these types of guys have their cheating down to a science. This probably isn’t the first time he’s cheated, and it won’t be the last. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s up to you to make sure you don’t end up being the other woman. How can you tell if you might be?

  1. He’s very particular about where you go on dates. You want to go to the new Mexican place, but he takes you to some divey Tex-Mex joint instead. In the next town. On a Tuesday at 4pm.
  2. He never sticks around to run errands or do other mundane, everyday things with you. He doesn’t want to go grocery shopping with you because he’s just going to have to go home and go grocery shopping again with his wife. No one likes grocery shopping that much.
  3. He rarely stays overnight. If he’s acting like he has a curfew, then he probably does. He needs to get out of your place before his girlfriend starts her nightly ritual of checking up on him.
  4. He either has to meticulously plan every time you see each other, or just shows up unannounced. Chances are he’s forced to plan around his commitments to his first relationship, and his idea of being “spontaneous” is popping in when his girlfriend goes on an unexpected overnight trip with her sister.
  5. He never invites you over. This is a glaring red flag. If it’s been months and you’ve never seen where he lives (or worse, you don’t even know his address), it’s probably because he can’t hide all the makeup in the bathroom and clear signs that a woman did the decorating.
  6. He avoids talking about the future beyond a few weeks. You aren’t his main chick, so he’s definitely not going to agree to being your date to some wedding four months from now. Any hint of a “Where is this going?” talk will send him running for the hills.
  7. He’s elusive on social media. If he claims he doesn’t have any social media accounts, be suspicious. It could be true, but these days, chances are he uses at least form of social media, and there’s a reason he doesn’t want you following him.
  8. He doesn’t answer right away when you call or text. Obviously it’s normal for him not to be waiting by his phone for you to contact him. But if he’s constantly leaving you hanging without an explanation, only to call you back when it’s convenient for him, it might be because he needs to wait until his girlfriend isn’t around.
  9. He never invites you out with his friends. Why? Because they know his girlfriend, and chances are they’ll slip up and make you suspicious. That, or his girlfriend is a mutual friend of theirs, and she’ll either be there, or they won’t hesitate to tell her what a loser he is.
  10. He avoids being in pictures with you. Why leave photographic evidence of his infidelity? That will pretty much destroy any plausible deniability if he ever does get caught.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.