Is He In Love With Me? How To Tell Where He’s At

Is he in love with me? It can be so hard when you’re in your latest situationship to know whether or not your feelings are being reciprocated. There are mixed messages aplenty and it’s terrible to feel like you don’t know whether to go for gold or not. You can end up with egg on your face, but here are a few ways of identifying if he loves you or not.

  1. He asks you questions all the time. These aren’t just your run-of-the-mill questions, either. These are the questions that really force you to interrogate your own life. It’s so reassuring to be with someone who really challenges you, physically and mentally. This is why asking the right questions feels like a sign that someone loves you. It shows that you have a strong connection and common ground. Not everyone has that, and some people have to work really hard to get half the natural bond.
  2. He wants to know about your past. This is a great sign of someone loving you. It means that they are invested in your past because they want to know everything about you. If he wants to know about your mother and your childhood best friends, it’s a great sign that he wants to be involved in your present. He loves you, so it only figures that he wants to know all about who made you the way you are today.
  3. He wants to know about your future. This is even more telling than his interest in your past. This means he wants to make plans together. He sees his future aligned with yours and he’s willing to compromise to make it happen. These things don’t come easy, and it takes a real show of emotional maturity and strength to put himself out there. We know that that’s not an expectation by any stretch. Picture this: he’s basically doodling your names together in his notebook.
  4. He invites you ’round. It might start out pretty casual. So much so that you might not even realize when he’s outright asking you out. That can be where the trouble lies when you don’t notice that someone’s in love with you. When he starts asking you round for dates that are more than just Netflix and Chill, or a coffee date, that’s when you have to stand up and take notice. It’s important to acknowledge when people make an effort. They’re putting themselves out there, so even if you notice that and don’t reciprocate, don’t drag things out. No one deserves to be strung along.
  5. He shares his hobbies with you. This is different than just going on a date. This is your partner’s way of saying: I love you. It’s very easy to get far in a relationship without having shared much of yourself. That’s why it’s so big when someone starts to open that door for you. When they want to be vulnerable with you, that’s when they want to share your life for good. Take note when they invite you to watch their football match, or when they encourage you to join their concert showing. He wants you to love him back.
  6. He gets you flowers. Or, he listens to you when you ask for something without making you feel like you’re asking for too much. This is because he loves you. The gestures are just second nature now. It’s not a case of tit for tat, or keeping score. It’s just about what the person needs in the moment and recognizing that. That’s what love is.
  7. He smiles constantly. He’s not necessarily the most smiley person either. That’s why it’s so special that he smiles at you non-stop. He loves you and you’re his main source of happiness. That’s special. There’s something unpretentious and uncluttered about the physical evidence of someone’s love for you.
  8. He makes excuses to see you. Without demanding your time. He just wants to be with you and in your presence. He knows that you don’t owe him your time, but he will wait for you to be ready. That’s an often-missed sign of love.
  9. You’re his top priority. Sure, there are other things in his life that matter to him, but if he’s in love with you, you’ll definitely be towards the top of that list. He’ll want to make sure you’re okay and cared for and that he considers you in the plans that he makes and the things that he does.
  10. He trusts you implicitly. Trust is hard to earn but it’s vital for a long-term relationship. If he offers his trust to you without condition and without a second thought, you can bet he’s in love with you. Guys don’t trust easily, but you’ve obviously proven yourself to be someone he knows he can rely on, and that’s a great sign.
  11. Your happiness is his happiness. When you’re happy, he’s happy. He loves nothing more than to see a smile on your face (except when he’s the one to put it there — he enjoys that even more). That works in reverse too. If you’re upset about something or angry, so he is. While he tries not to let your moods completely overtake his own, he does whatever he can to ensure you’re as happy as possible as often as possible and to help fix the things that make you upset.
  12. He loves showing you physical affection. Yes, the sex is great, but you know he’s in love with you when those small affectionate gestures are just as important to him. He loves hugging you, holding your hand, cuddling up on the couch and it feels amazing.

Hannah has a Masters degree in Romantic and Victorian literature in Scotland and spends her spare time writing anything from essays to short fiction about the life and times of the frogs in her local pond! She loves musical theatre, football, anything with potatoes, and remains a firm believer that most of the problems in this world can be solved by dancing around the kitchen to ABBA. You can find her on Instagram at @_hannahvic.