Is He Into You? If You Have To Wonder, The Answer Is No

He seems like he likes you… sometimes… you think. Or does he? Sometimes you feel like you’re going crazy trying to figure out where you stand with this guy, but stop wasting your time. If he really likes you, he’ll make it known before you can even ask yourself if he’s into you. Here’s how:

  1. He won’t give you mixed messagesEnough with the confusing signals, like a guy who flirts with you a lot but never actually invites you out or the guy who says he wants to be your boyfriend but then doesn’t ever let you meet his family. It’s messed up. The truth is that a guy who’s really into you won’t make you have to sit and try to decode him. He’ll be clear about how much he likes you from the beginning so that there’s no confusion.
  2. His words and actions are on the same page. It’s not just one sign a guy will show you when he’s into you but a whole bunch of signs — what he says, what he does and his body language. If one or more are not in sync, then he’s giving you mixed messages.
  3. He makes his intentions clearAlong with showing real interest in you, a guy who’s into you will make it clear what he wants from you. Yes, he’s got a plan, so he’ll tell you that he’d like to be in a real relationship, not just suggest you guys “play it by ear.” By being clear about his intentions, you both know where you stand without wasting time.
  4. He shows interest in more than just dating you. You might think that just because a guy wants to date you, this means he’s into you, but it’s not enough. He should show interest in who you are, what you’re about and all the amazing things you’ve done. That’s what separates a guy who’s into you from a guy who’s smitten.
  5. He reveals himself. No, not with penis pictures, but by showing who he his — what ticks him off, what pushes his buttons and what he wants from life. A guy who wants you in his life will show you who he is because this is a way of investing in the relationship. If he keeps himself closed off, then that’s not a good sign.
  6. He makes you a priority. Yes, you both have your lives, but come on: if a guy wants to be with you, he’ll shift things around in his life so that you’re a priority. This means that he’ll get back to your texts within a reasonable time and he’ll make regular, consistent plans to see you.
  7. There’s nothing to figure out. Seriously, he’s a man, not a Rubik’s cube. A guy who’s interested in you won’t be super mysterious and leave you hanging because he’s not playing a game. He wants something real, so you actually won’t be shaking your head at his messages wondering what he means exactly.
  8. When he’s not around, you feel good about him. If you wonder why you feel strange or unhappy when he’s not around, then perhaps the reason is because something’s not right with this guy. Often, it’s not just how the guy behaves around you, but also how you feel about him when he’s not around. Without his distractions, sexually and otherwise, you can clearly see if he’s interested or not by how you feel about the things he says and does when you think about them in your own time.
  9. You don’t have to pull all the weight. A guy who’s into you isn’t going to leave all the dating work up to you. Hell no. He’ll be the one making most of the effort. He’s got to impress you, after all, not the other way around. So if you’re the one initiating contact most often and making plans for him, move on. He’s not interested.
  10. You feel comfortable with him. Another way in which your feelings can tip you off about a guy not being that into you is if you don’t feel comfortable around him. Sure, you might write that up to nerves or butterflies, but if you’re often on edge or you just feel you can’t be yourself, then perhaps he’s making you feel this by holding back or because he leaves you anxious about his intentions. Not cool. You should feel comfortable — to be who you are and in how you relate to him — if he’s right for you.
  11. You feel good about yourself. It’s not just how you feel about him, it’s also how he makes you feel about yourself. A guy who really likes you will uplift you and make you love your life. You’ll leave dates feeling on top of the world. And that’s how it should be.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.