Is He My Future Boyfriend? Subtle Signs You’ll Crash And Burn

When you first start dating a guy you really like, it’s only natural that you’d start to fantasize about your future together. Maybe you think about the trips you’ll take, the milestones you’ll share, etc. However, it’s really important that you don’t get carried away too soon. Is he your future boyfriend or are you destined to crash and burn? Here’s how you know for sure.

  1. You can’t be honest with him. Maybe you convinced yourself that this would change and that you’d magically become better at communicating. Now, three months have passed and you aren’t sure how you can fix it. It’s a two-way street, too. However much you might want to blame the other person, think about ways you are making it difficult to communicate for him too. There’s always room for everyone to become more emotionally aware. That said, communication is non-negotiable. If you can’t talk honestly with your partner, you will crash and burn. The answer to is he my future boyfriend? is pretty clear here.
  2. You haven’t farted in front of each other yet. I know our bodies all seem embarrassing and wrongly proportioned, but you have to be comfortable in each other’s presence. There’s no reason that the right person wouldn’t make you comfortable. If you are still on edge and scared that the other person might judge you, your relationship is destined to fail. It means you both have work you need to do, personally. Being in a relationship doesn’t magically fix your individual problems. Quite the opposite, in fact.
  3. You put off the big conversations. Either you’re both conflict-averse, or, neither of you values the other to honestly communicate to fix the problems. It means you’re either prohibitively bad at advocating for yourselves, or, worse, that you don’t think this is a long-term consideration to worry about. You can’t live by that mantra, though. It sacrifices both of your mental stability by assuming that things will either end or resolve themselves without any effort required. That is a lie you tell yourself. Learn about the ways you can express your own agency in your relationship. You are the only person that has to be affected by it, after all.
  4. You don’t know anything about his family. This means that you guys rarely put yourselves on the line. While you might dismiss it as just being something that men do, unlearn that. Most of them will listen to you when you actually talk to them on a level playing field.
  5. He insults you. I get it, banter is fun. In a big way, it teaches you to take yourself less seriously. However, if insulting you is the only way he can think of to be funny, no thank you. You are not a punching bag for his ego. You can both be happy at the same time, it’s not an either/or situation. He’s not the one if that’s his mentality because it will ruin your self-esteem. Believe me.
  6. Your friends don’t approve. This is a big one. You might think that your friends never approve of your boyfriends and dismiss their actions. However, that in itself could be telling you about a trend in your partners. Revealing things that you’re pursuing that might not be serving you. Always listen to your friends and what they’re saying. They want the best for you.
  7. You find yourself constantly complaining about him. I know, we all like to gather together with our friends and gripe about our significant others. That’s part of culture and bonding. However, if you’re the person in the group who always rants first and for the longest, think on that for a minute. It’s natural for a relationship to experience ups and downs because no emotion is permanent. But, if the most longstanding emotion that your boyfriend makes you feel is hurt or frustration, that’s wrong. You deserve better.
  8. You never argue. In the opposite way, if you’re both known for not arguing, that’s actually a red flag. This might surprise you. It means that one of you isn’t speaking your mind. Or both of you. Think about how often you disagree with your friends and family. Even your soul make will irritate you sometimes and it’s wrong to pretend otherwise. If your heart isn’t skipping when you kiss him, don’t look to the fact you don’t argue as a reason to stay in a dead relationship. Hear what I’m saying?
  9. He dismisses you. If you’re ever made to feel less than in a relationship, drop them right there. No one deserves that negative energy and your relationship will crash and burn in those conditions. This type of relationship will make you burn out and think you aren’t deserving of the right kind of love.

In short, if you’re on this article it’s likely that you’re aware your relationship has problems. Don’t be cruel to yourself, just reflect and think about what you want. No relationship is bigger than the people inside it.

Hannah has a Masters degree in Romantic and Victorian literature in Scotland and spends her spare time writing anything from essays to short fiction about the life and times of the frogs in her local pond! She loves musical theatre, football, anything with potatoes, and remains a firm believer that most of the problems in this world can be solved by dancing around the kitchen to ABBA. You can find her on Instagram at @_hannahvic.