“Is He Playing Me?”10 Signs He’s Not Being Real, According To A Guy

Whenever you start dating someone new, it’s always nice to give that person the benefit of the doubt and believe they have the best of intentions. Sadly, not all guys are genuine. A lot of them have their own agenda and are just trying to play you for a fool. As a guy, I’m willing to share some of the most common signs that he’s being real with you about what he wants from the relationship.

  1. He seems mysterious. Have you ever met a guy who’s purposely being withholding or mysterious to pique your interest? This is one of the oldest tricks in the book that men use to attract women. Guys like this don’t want you to be able to figure them out. They think the mystery will keep you coming back. It’s obviously worked in the past or they wouldn’t keep doing it. This technique is meant to give them all of the power in the relationship so they can play games and dictate the terms of the relationship.
  2. Communication comes and goes. The key to finding a good guy is finding someone who is consistent with his communication. A guy who’s playing you will be hot and cold. One day, he’s texting you non-stop and then he’s off the grid for four days. If this happens, it’s clear that he’s not focused on you or what you want from the relationship.
  3. You’re not part of his life. Do you know his friends? Have you visited him at work? Has he shared his personal hobbies and interests with you? If the answer is no, then you’re not really a part of his life. Odds are, he’s keeping you away from these things on purpose. He wants to be the one pulling the strings instead of being real with you.
  4. He doesn’t compromise. Even early in a relationship, there should be some form of compromise. Even if it’s just about the places you eat or the movies you watch. If a guy can’t even compromise on this stuff, he’s probably just another player. It means he’s only focused on his own needs and isn’t concerned with what will make you happy. It’s selfish, which is one of the most prominent characteristics of a player.
  5. He doesn’t want to get serious. Obviously if he doesn’t want to get serious, he might be playing you. But it’s the sneaky way he tells you that he doesn’t want anything more. He’ll start slipping in excuses early and often. He’ll mention how much he works or that he’s getting over an ex. Later on, he’ll bring it back when he needs an excuse for why you’ve invested time in him while he doesn’t want to get serious.
  6. He gives you nothing but compliments. Yes, compliments are nice, but a guy who’s playing you knows that and will use it to his advantage. He will overload you with compliments because he knows it’s what you want to hear. his goal is to flatter you so you’ll feel good about yourself and lower your defenses. This is how players convince you that they’re a nice, sweet guy while they hide their true intentions.
  7. His questions are skin deep. Along with giving you compliments, a guy who’s playing you will only be interested in superficial things. He’ll talk about your clothes or how you look. He won’t ask you about your feelings or to share personal details. A player doesn’t care to get to know you on a deeper level, so he has no intention of getting real with you.
  8. He avoids personal questions. In addition to not asking you personal questions, a guy who’s playing you won’t answer them himself. He’ll always find a way to avoid personal questions. Keep in mind that guys like this are experienced at side-stepping topics they don’t like or answering questions with a question. If this is a habit, it’s a good indication that he’s playing you.
  9. Everything happens on his schedule. This relates back to a lack of compromise. A guy who’s playing you isn’t interested in making you happy. He’s only out for himself. This means he won’t adjust his schedule to fit you. Of course, he’ll expect you to rearrange your life to see him. It’s the typical selfish behavior you should expect from a player.
  10. He doesn’t follow you on social media. For the record, I hate that things on social media should matter in real life. That being said, you should be following one another on social media if you start dating someone. If he’s not following you or he’s keeping his social stuff hidden, it’s a red flag. It usually means he doesn’t think you’ll be together long. The other option is that he has stuff online that he doesn’t want you to see. Either way, he’s being sketchy and playing you.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.