Is He Really Into You Or Are You Delusional?

When you like someone new, sometimes it’s hard to get your signals straight. Is he actually into you or is this all in your head? Here are some signs that the two of you are on the same page and there really is potential there.

  1. He texts you first. Obviously, if he’s texting you, he wants to talk with you more. But keep in mind that this isn’t always a sign. Sometimes people just get busy, so if you happened to text first, there’s still very likely something there, especially if he responded to you quickly.
  2. You haven’t seen him around any other women. Thanks to social media, you can get a pretty good idea of the company this guy keeps. If he seems to be single online, there’s a good chance that he’s into you. However, if he’s taking selfies with another woman, he may be emotionally (or straight up) unavailable. Rethink your last conversation and try to remember if he was being flirty or just friendly.
  3. He revealed a lot about himself in a short amount of time. It can be hard for some guys to emote. If your first conversation covered all the bases from family and career to most memorable dreams, he feels comfortable around you and that means that you’ve got great natural chemistry. If you feel a connection with this person, don’t toss it aside. Trust your own instincts.
  4. He’s asked you if you’re single. Guys who aren’t into you won’t be invested in whether or not you’re with someone. So if he straight-up asks you if you’re single, it means that either he or a friend of his thinks you’re attractive. If you’re out in a group, he may be playing wingman. But if you’re in the office with him and he happens to ask in the midst of a conversation, he’s likely into you and testing the waters to see if it’s safe to take the next step.
  5. He tries to make you laugh. A good sense of humor is everything. So if he introduces himself in a jokey way, or uses a shared experience to gain entrance to a conversation, he’s probably been checking you out for some time. If he seems a little stand-offish or is more interested in his phone than the person right in front of him, that’s a sign he’s not interested. Body language means a lot.
  6. He notices small changes. Get your hair cut? Change up your lip color? This guy might not be able to pinpoint exactly what’s different, but he’ll still compliment the new look. Just don’t give him a hard time if he gets it wrong, especially if it’s a subtle difference that you’re making.
  7. He asks you what you’re doing this weekend. He might want to try and lay the foundation to ask you out for a date, but if you’re going to be out of town for your aunt’s birthday, he won’t try to complicate your plans. If you like him and already have something scheduled (like, an open invite party a friend is throwing) you should try to invite him along. Just remember that him saying no doesn’t mean he’s not into you. He could be socially shy.
  8. He doesn’t have too many female friends. If his group doesn’t contain a lot of girls, having him chat you up might mean that he categorizes you differently. If he also tries to keep hangouts with you separate from his friends for a while, he’s viewing you more as a potential girlfriend than a Sunday brunch buddy.
  9. He friends you quickly on social media. These days, most people aren’t just about upping their follower count. If they’re going to be an influencer, they would have tried that life (and probably quit it) already. He just wants to see your profile in full. Bonus points if he happens to like an Instagram photo you posted a month ago.
  10. He asks you about your future goals and dreams. As mentioned above, conversations with him seem easy. But you’ve miraculously already tackled two of the hardest topics — whether or not he wants to get married someday and whether or not he wants to have kids. If the two of you match, he may be quite smitten. Relationships often fail if you’re not on the same page regarding those topics, so if he gets flirtier or chattier after having that talk, consider your relationship potential solid.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.