Is He Really Your Soulmate Or Are You Kidding Yourself?

A soulmate is someone you’re deeply connected to without being dependent on them. Typically, a soulmate will understand you, accept you, and enhance your life. While you might have fallen in love with someone, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re your soulmate. So how do you know if you’ve found that person or if you’re just kidding yourself? Read on to find out.

  1. He might be your soulmate: He loves you for who you are. A soulmate will always love you for who you are. You won’t have to hide your flaws or pretend to be someone else. That’s not to say that a soulmate will put up with you treating them like crap. But they will embrace the essence of who you are—those things that you can’t change because they’d change your overall individuality and way of relating to the world.
  2. You’re kidding yourself: You have completely different life goals. Do you have completely different life goals from your partner? As in, you want to travel the world while running five companies and he wants a traditional family in suburbia? Conflicting life goals might be a sign that he’s not really your soulmate. When you find a soulmate, your lives will entwine seamlessly.  You don’t have to agree on everything, but you should have the same idea of happiness. While you might have to compromise in some areas, neither of you should have to give up your biggest dreams to appease the other.
  3. He might be your soulmate: Being with him is easy. No relationship is easy 100% of the time, even when you’ve found your soulmate. There will still be arguments and hurdles to overcome. But when you’re with your soulmate, actually being with that person is easy. Spending time with him isn’t awkward or like a chore. And it seems like the Universe supports you by making things work out more often than not.
  4. You’re kidding yourself: The relationship is having too many negative effects on your life. Contrary to popular belief, love doesn’t conquer all. No matter how in love you are, a person isn’t your soulmate if they cause more harm to your life than good. In other words, if they are causing you severe anxiety, stress, or even physical harm, it’s important to reassess. A soulmate improves your overall wellbeing and never puts your happiness or safety in jeopardy.
  5. He might be your soulmate: He’s your best friend. They say that the best relationships begin as friendships. Usually, a soulmate will be your best friend as well as your romantic partner. Along with the romantic and physical connection you have, you’ll also have a friendly relationship. Basically, you’ll like each other as well as love each other. If the only thing you’ve got in common is insane romantic chemistry, it might not be enough to qualify you as soulmates. As best friends, you should enjoy spending time together. Think of the relationship you’ve got with your other friends. There should be laughter, personal jokes, support, and of course, trust.
  6. You’re kidding yourself: He doesn’t respect you. Respect should be a non-negotiable element to any relationship. If yours is lacking this fundamental trait, then the person you’re with can’t possibly be your soulmate. Respect is about showing basic courtesy and treating someone else in an acceptable way. Some common signs that your partner doesn’t respect you include talking over you, insulting you, embarrassing you in front of others, and belittling your family and friends.
  7. He might be your soulmate: Your values are aligned. Soulmates might not agree on everything, but they do tend to share the same beliefs. People of different religions or different political stances have had successful relationships before, but they should still agree on the fundamentals. Think about the things you value and the things that are important to you. They might include the importance of kindness, equality for all, or a strong work ethic. A soulmate will share those values.
  8. You’re kidding yourself: You have a bad gut feeling. You should always trust your intuition. If your partner looks good for you on paper but you just have a bad feeling about them, it’s important to listen to that feeling. It’s possible that your gut is trying to tell you a truth that you can’t see. Often, when you find your soulmate, it will just feel right. You’ll have that reassuring and positive gut feeling. By the same token, when you’re with someone who’s not your soulmate, something just won’t click. Even if you can’t see the exact reason why, you’ll get the feeling that the person you’re with isn’t the one.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.