Is He Seeing Someone Else? Signs You’re Definitely Not Exclusive As Far As He’s Concerned

If you suspect your boyfriend is cheating on you, it’s simply not enough to notice that he leaves the room when he gets a call. Sure, that could raise a red flag, but there are other signs to notice so you stop getting played. Here are 11 signs that he’s got someone (or several someones) on the side and you’re definitely not exclusive in his book. It’s better to know now than to get hurt more later.

  1. He’s searching for shady things online. How would you know? Well, unless you’re snooping (which isn’t advisable), you might be sharing the same internet router which means you share the same IP address. So, if you’re receiving ads for things that seem risqué, it could be that he’s the one searching for them online without realizing that you’re going to get ads related to them. He’s totally busted.
  2. He’s slamming doors in your face. The interesting thing about people in long-term relationships who cheat is that you’ll see how they behave around you in the home you live in together will change in small but clear ways. An example is that they’ll start closing bathroom doors when they’re taking a shower or brushing their teeth. What gives? They might be craving more privacy, perhaps to text from in there. Whatever the case, it’s a sign that they’re shutting you out in more ways than one.
  3. His schedule has changed. He used to have time on some weeknights to spend time with you, but now suddenly he’s so busy at work he can’t get away early enough to meet you for dinner. Or, his weekends aren’t as open as they used to be. However, he hasn’t been promoted at work and you can’t think of any other reason why he’s suddenly so swamped at the office. Worse, he doesn’t seem to have an explanation for why he’s suddenly so “busy.”
  4. He’s got a second phone. Ah, the classic second phone sign! Why does he need an extra phone, though? You have to admit it’s weird and you should be smelling a rat. He might claim it’s for work but if you’re gut’s telling you that’s BS, it probably is.
  5. He’s giving you gifts. I’m not saying that you should be wary of your boyfriend whenever he gives you flowers or surprises you with that pretty necklace you were eyeing out in the shop window. However, if it seems like whenever he does something irritating he quickly showers you with gifts, it could be that he’s trying to distract you from what he’s really up to.
  6. He’s got a new friend you haven’t met. Whether it’s a male or female name, you should be suspicious if he’s suddenly mentioning a new friend all the time but he becomes oddly quiet when you suggest meeting them. If he starts spending a lot of time with them under the guise of it being about work or another social commitment you’re not involved in, that’s even more suspect.
  7. He’s acting moody. He never used to be so irritable and moody, but lately that’s the vibe he brings to your dates. Ugh. It could be that he’s getting frustrated with leading a double life and he can’t hide it anymore. This is especially the case if he just doesn’t seem to be happy to see you like he used to be.
  8. He expresses fear of getting hurt. When your boyfriend tells you that he doesn’t want to get hurt, that’s understandable and not a big deal. However, you should be wary of a guy who suddenly becomes emotional with you about how he fears you’re going to hurt him/lie to him/cheat on him. Could the dude be projecting because he’s actually doing those things to you?
  9. He doesn’t want to be around your friends. He used to enjoy spending time with your BFFs every now and then, but lately he’s always got an excuse for why he can’t attend the outings. It’s a bit shifty. Is he hiding something and afraid that they’ll spot it?
  10. His stories don’t seem to add up. When you ask him where he was last Friday night or what his late nights at work have been about, he gives you longwinded explanations that seem weird. Or, you find out at a later stage that his stories simply don’t add up – one minute he’s saying one thing and the next the story details are different. Yikes.
  11. He’s hotter than ever in the sack. If he’s suddenly interested in trying new positions during sex or he’s keen to have more sex than usual, this might make you think that you guys are doing better than ever but this could actually be a bad sign. If he’s getting different sex from his side chick, what he does with her could find its way into sex with you.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.