Is He Serious About You? This Is How You Know He’s Playing For Keeps

Is He Serious About You? This Is How You Know He’s Playing For Keeps ©iStock/SrdjanPav

When you fall in love, it’s natural to wonder if this guy could really be The One. You start imagining the possibility of a real future with him and getting excited about how great your lives together could be. Of course, you’ve probably learned the hard way that the desire for that kind of commitment isn’t always a two-way street. If you’re not sure if your guy is going to drop out before he reaches the finish line, keep an eye out for these signs that he’s playing for keeps.

  1. He wants to move slowly instead of rushing things. You might think that a guy who wants to marry you right off the bat is the one who’s got commitment on the brain, but oftentimes, the opposite is true. A guy who wants to invest in a relationship with you is going to make sure that the relationship has a strong foundation before trying to build a skyscraper.
  2. He pays attention to little details. In addition to knowing your favorite hobbies and where you’d take your dream vacation, a guy who’s in it for the long haul will also notice the way you keep all your food separated on your plate or the way you can’t sleep unless your hair is in a ponytail. This man knows that you’re going to be in his life for a long time if he has any say in it, so he wants to memorize every detail about you that he can.
  3. He introduces you to his friends and family. If he’s proudly presented you to the other people he cares about most, it’s because he wants to integrate you into his life. Perhaps just as importantly, he’s also making the statement that you’re going to be around for a while, so you’re someone that these people should know. A man who only sees you as a temporary deal isn’t going to bother with showing you off to his bros when he knows it’s only a matter of time before you’re replaced by someone else.
  4. He wants to meet your friends and family. Meeting the most special people in your significant other’s life can be super intimidating, so if he’s willing to put himself on the line, it’s the real deal. This guy is fine with being analyzed by discerning fathers and women who want to see their best friend as happy as possible. If that doesn’t prove that he’s planning on sticking around, nothing will.
  5. He makes plans for the future with you. Marriage and babies might come up eventually, but just as important are the plans he makes to dress up for Halloween with you next month or the annual family vacation he wants to invite you on next summer. When he suggests that you two will still be together in a few months’ time, it’s because he’s going to make the effort to keep you in his life.
  6. He’s open about your relationship. You’re never introduced as his “friend,” and he doesn’t untag himself from cute photos of the two of you that you post on Facebook. Once a guy is serious about committing to you, he’s not going to try to hide the fact that you’re together. In fact, he’ll be proud to march into the room holding your hand so that the world knows that he’s the lucky guy who gets to call himself your boyfriend.
  7. He always invites you along as his “plus-one.” While it’s true that some people invite platonic friends to be their date at a wedding or work event, most of us aren’t going to do it with someone we’re trying to keep at an arm’s length. Unless it’s explicitly stated that there’s nothing romantic going on between you two, bringing a date along to a major event is going to lead lots of people to think that you’re TOGETHER-together. If he’s willing to put your relationship on display like that, he’s at least somewhat serious about keeping you in his life.
  8. He doesn’t shy away from major relationship investments. Things like moving in together, adopting a pet, and sharing a Netflix password aren’t for casual relationships. A guy who even considers these things as something that could happen down the road is also considering forever as something that could happen between you two.
  9. He goes out of his way for you. A guy doesn’t have to write you an album of cheesy love songs to prove how much he wants to stay in your life. A lot of times, he shows that he’s serious about you by DVRing your favorite show without you even having to ask him or picking up your favorite candy bar when he runs to the store for milk. He might find other, more dramatic ways to show that he’s willing to go the extra mile for you, but those little instances are good indicators that he’s always thinking about you.
  10. He communicates well. A guy who wants a relationship to last should know that the key to making it happen is communicating. He’s not going to give you the silent treatment when he’s upset with you, and if you’re the one who seems bothered, he’s not just going to pretend like everything’s OK. Instead, he’s going to make sure that you’re both on the same page and that neither of you is hiding something from the other person.
  11. He tries to resolve arguments instead of escalating them. He won’t call you names or threaten to break up with you or storm out of the house. Instead, he’ll take some time to calm down and work with you rather than against you to figure out a solution. He wants to be with you forever, so he’s not going to deliberately do anything that could inspire a spur-of-the-moment breakup.
  12. He rebuffs others’ attempts to hit on him. We all like to flirt and be flirted with occasionally, but a man who only has eyes for you won’t entertain the thought of crossing the line with someone else. He might be flattered by the attention, but as soon as she asks for his number, he’s going to tell her that someone (you!) already has his heart.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.