According to the Institute for Family Studies (IFS), about 20% of married men have cheated (and this only includes who admitted and reported it). So if you feel crazy for thinking your dude isn’t being faithful, you may not be after all. But how do you know for sure that he’s got someone(s) on the side? Here are 9 occurrences that may clue you into some extra-relational activity.
- He’s changing his passwords. Don’t you just miss that sweet honeymoon phase when he vowed to be an “open book” and maintain a full level of transparency? Not only did you know his phone passcode, you also knew all the answers to his potential security questions. Now, all of sudden, he is locking you out of everything. I’m not saying the man isn’t entitled to some privacy, but a sudden shift into complete secrecy is suspect.
- He doesn’t invite you to group outings anymore. When he had nothing to hide, he seemed proud to show you off to friends and family. Now he seems to be doing a lot more on his own. If he’s cheating, you can be sure that one of his closest buddies knows, and it’s possible even his family does as well. He may be saying one thing to them and another to you and not want to take his chances of someone mentioning something when you’re around. He also might be trying to be seen without you so he can lie about being available to another woman.
- He has unexplained charges on his account. Men can eat, but no one is spending $35 on themselves at Subway or $60 at IHOP. That man is eating for two and sending her home with a to-go meal for later. And why would he eat out so much without you anyway? Sometimes, the proof is in the numbers and if his receipts come up short, I’d be wary.
- He has a dating app profile. Dating apps are a quick way to lose faith in humanity, or at least in the prospects of honorable dating practices. I’ve swiped past guys I knew had felony records as well as fully married men with kids (some who even had their children in their dating profile photos!). There is the slimmest chance that he had one of the sites that doesn’t let you delete an inactive profile, but especially if it is one that goes by radius, I wouldn’t buy this excuse.
- He doesn’t want to do things with you anymore. If dates and late-night convos have gone out the window, he may be getting his quality time needs to be fulfilled elsewhere. This isn’t a clear cut sign that he is for sure seeing someone else, but if he’s pulling away from you for some reason he’s more likely to be open to someone else who appeals to him at the moment and fulfills a temporary desire.
- His friends/family act strange around you. Some of them may have had conversations about you that you don’t know about, or as I mentioned previously, may know about another person in the mix that you don’t know about either. Most people really don’t want to get involved in something messy, and regardless of how they feel about it are likely to keep their loyalty with their original friend/family member. But simply knowing the tea can be uncomfortable for them, so if you pick up on shifty behavior from those around and/or close to him, this may be a sign that something is up.
- He’s always on his phone. It’s one thing to be playing games, but if he’s constantly getting text notifications and turning his phone away when you’re within eyesight, he’s talking to someone. Whether that someone is a side boo or not you’ll need more evidence to find out, but I’d be on the alert if his mobile activity is eyebrow raising-worthy.
- Your gut feeling senses it. Sometimes we just know before we know know. If the vibes are off, he may be up to no good. Don’t discredit yourself if something about your relationship doesn’t sit with you. You knew how he moved before, so if he’s changing up, you have every right to be concerned.
- He’s turning your invitations of intimacy down. Most guys get annoyed or at least a little disappointed if you’re the one who is always not in the mood. So for him to be guilty of this crime is odd. He may be a hard-worker and just tired or distracted, but most men have a little extra energy reservoir for a “good time” *wink wink*. If he isn’t wanting to do the bedroom dance with you, he may be doing the tango with another senorita.