Is He Still In Love With His Ex? Signs He’s Not Over Her Yet

Your relationship seems solid and you’re finally happy for the first time in a long time… but something feels off. There’s a black cloud hanging over you and it’s in the form of his previous girlfriend. Your boyfriend insists she’s old news and that chapter of his life is closed, but is he being honest with himself and you? Here’s how you know he’s still in love with his ex.

  1. He still talks to her as much as he talks to you. You talk to your boyfriend several times a day via phone and text. That’s cool, but the trouble is he talks to his ex-girlfriend just as often. When there’s a delay in response from him, he always apologizes for getting back to you late and says that he was just chatting to her. Sometimes he’s even in the middle of a conversation with her when you call. Why do they need to talk so much if their relationship is well and truly over?
  2. You’ve caught him stalking her social media profiles. He sheepishly says he just wanted to see what she was up to or claims that he was looking for a specific picture that he was in on her feed, but you know better. He’s stalking her online because he is still in love with his ex. Otherwise, why would he care what her day-to-day life looks like now that he’s no longer in it?
  3. He still has pictures of her all over his phone. While you don’t have to delete every single trace of a person just because you’re no longer together, it is pretty weird if your boyfriend still has tons of pictures of his ex-girlfriend on his phone, especially if they’re still up towards the most recent photos in his album rather than being buried. What gives?
  4. He regularly brings her up in conversation for no reason. One of the most obvious signs that he’s still in love with his ex is if he constantly talks about her. If he brings her up out of nowhere or when there’s zero context for her involvement, that’s a sign that there’s some unfinished business between them, at least in his head.
  5. He “accidentally” calls you by her name sometimes. Oh no he didn’t! (Yes, he really did.) This is one of the most obnoxious and alarming things your boyfriend could possibly do. In a way, you sort of understand it because if they were together for a long time and your relationship is relatively fresh, it’s kinda bound to happen once or twice. However, once you’ve been together for a few months and are well and truly established as a couple, there’s no excuse for him calling you by his ex-girlfriend’s name unless he’s still in love with her.
  6. He tells her big news before he tells you. He just got a promotion at work but instead of calling you first, he texts his ex. His best buddy from high school just got engaged and he tells you over dinner, but you later find out that his ex already knows because he called her on the way to meet you. What is going on here? He’s still in love with his ex, that’s what.
  7. He’s still close with her family. This isn’t necessarily a sign in and of itself that he’s got lingering feelings for his previous girlfriend, but generally speaking, when a relationship is over, so is the relationship with that person’s family. It just has to be that way, otherwise, it gets awkward. If he’s still treating her mom like a second mom or hanging out with her brother every week, that’s a problem.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia