Is He “The One”? Subtle Signs You May Have Missed

When you date a guy for a long time, it’s only normal to wonder if he’s “The One.” If you don’t have a ton of relationship experience, it can be tough to figure out—here’s how to know for sure.

You’ve mentioned moving in together. When you’re hanging out, you’ve noticed that the phrase “when we get a place” comes up. It’s always mentioned lightly, sure, but you’ve talked about it very casually and easily. That means that in your head, you know it’s just a natural progression to sign a lease with this guy and get serious and he clearly feels the same.

Most milestone conversations have already happened. You never had to sit down and ask whether or not he wants kids, it just came up naturally. It seems like most of the conversations that scare most couples didn’t even need to be planned. Both of you have the same natural timeline of what you want to happen and when, and you know there’ll be no begging or disappointment when it comes to an official proposal.

You don’t need to tell him to do his share. There’ll be moments where one of you needs to pick up the slack for the other, but in general, he knows when it’s time to treat for dinner and, if he’s over your place a lot, what you expect as far as cleanliness goes. It’s not a hassle when he stays over—it’s actually a joy.

He can survive and thrive in a room with your parents. You don’t have to worry about leaving him behind—he doesn’t need you in the room to successfully interact with your parents. He’s great with entertaining them with meaningful conversations but also knows how to make them laugh without being offensive or crude.

You literally can’t relate with the “men are trash” stories your girlfriends like to share. Guys are complicated and at times awful, but with this guy, you don’t really have any horror stories to contribute. In fact, the small annoying things that your boyfriend does seem almost tame next to your BFF’s horror stories about her most recent ex. Maybe you finally landed a good one.

After you fight, you both regret it. Fights are natural and will happen in any relationship, but with this guy, you immediately feel regret if you overstep and say something too mean. Even if you separate for a few minutes to cool down, you instantly miss him and would rather stop fighting altogether than be “right” in the situation.

He’s fun to be around. It’s good to go to some parties solo, but you end up missing him when you do. He’s charismatic and can hold his own in a group so you never have to spend time worrying about whether or not he’s having fun. Even better, he seems really psyched to meet your friends. Even if he doesn’t click with them the same way you do, he at least puts the effort forward.

He doesn’t play games. As you get older, you’ll find that fewer guys are into games. As you age, you just have no time to play hard to get. It may have been a dull start with this guy, but he’s always put himself out there 100%. You never had to guess about his schedule or do your own detective work about his past relationships. In doing so, you have a level of trust in him that you were never able to achieve with your exes. That right there makes him husband material.

His finances go towards the good stuff. All of his career successes seem to be with you in mind. The extra money he might make after a promotion isn’t going towards an Xbox and a bunch of junky McDonald’s lunches—it’s going towards a possible vacation fund and a down payment for a house for the two of you. Financial responsibility is a great sign that this guy is worth being your one and only.

You fit right in with his family. When you marry the guy, you marry his family, so if you can’t stand them, any future with this guy is doomed from the start. However, if they treat you like the daughter they never had, perhaps this relationship was meant to be.

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