Is He Thinking About Me After Our Breakup?

Whether or not you were the one to end your relationship, no one wants to be forgotten. It would suck to think that once you dumped your ex, you never crossed his mind ever again. After all, you have history and you loved each other even though it didn’t work out. While you can’t control how he feels or what he does when you’re no longer a couple, it’d be nice to know that your ex is thinking about you after the breakup. Here are some signs he is (and a few he’s probably not).

Hints that you may be on his mind

  1. He didn’t want to break up. You were ready to throw in the towel and walk away forever, but he wasn’t so sure. In his eyes, you had unfinished business, and he believed you could overcome every issue in your way. If he wanted to work things out but you were just done, he’ll likely be thinking about you and what went wrong for a long time to come.
  2. Things ended because he messed up bigtime. If he lied to you about something major or cheated on you, good for you for getting out. You deserve better than to be treated with such disrespect. However, sometimes men have to f*** things up bigtime to realize what they had in front of them the whole time. He can’t help but dwell on how badly he messed up, and that’s good! He should feel sorry — he lost the best thing to ever happen to him.
  3. He still follows you/comments on your social media posts. Even though you’re not together anymore, he still leaves fire emojis to all your selfies and tags you in memes he thinks you’ll find funny. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was still your boyfriend. It’s kinda bizarre, actually.
  4. You were together for a long time. When someone is part of your life for a long time, you can’t help thinking about them even after the inevitable breakup. Everything in his life is different now, and he’s well aware of it. You cross his mind when he rolls over in bed and you’re not there, when he goes to sleep at night, when he comes in from work, etc.
  5. He keeps trying to reach out in subtle (or not-so-subtle) ways. Maybe he shares a video from your favorite band on his Facebook profile or tells your mutual friends to tell you he said hi. If he lacks subtlety, he may even be texting you himself to see how you are. It’s clear you haven’t left his brain since the breakup.
  6. He still hangs out in the same places you used to go. After a relationship ends, the last thing you want to do is go to the places you used to go to as a couple. However, he still hits up your regular coffee spot every morning and even hangs out at the bar you used to go to every weekend. He can’t go there and not think about you really, could he?
  7. He’s not seeing anyone else and doesn’t want to. Depending on how long it’s been since your breakup, this may be totally normal. No one should be jumping from relationship to relationship, but at a certain point,

Signs he’s probably not thinking about you after the breakup

  1. He wasn’t really upset when things ended. You thought he would be destroyed when you told him it was over, but he actually took it in stride. He didn’t fight you or beg you to stay. Instead, he just accepted that things were over and walked away without question. It makes you wonder if he hoped you might do this all along.
  2. He was the one to dump you. He’s probably not thinking about you after the breakup if he dumped you rather than the other way around. If he checked out of the relationship enough that he was happy to leave it without a second thought, his head and heart were no longer with you. Sucks to hear but it’s true.
  3. He’s already dating someone else. That tells you pretty much everything you need to know. Sure, maybe he just wants you to be jealous or he wants to numb the pain of losing you. However, it’s more likely that he’s over it and ready to move on in life with someone new.
  4. All you did was fight when you were together. If being together was no longer a happy experience (and it obviously wasn’t or you would still be together), he’s probably relieved that things are over and that his life is now conflict-free. In this case, the only thing he’s probably thinking is that he wishes he walked away sooner.
  5. He blocked and deleted you on everything. Going no contact is a good way to help yourself get over someone. Out of sight, out of mind, right? This may not mean he isn’t thinking about you, but it does mean that he wishes he wasn’t. If he felt fine about cutting you out of his life completely, he wants to leave you and your relationship behind.
  6. You screwed him over during the relationship. Did you cheat on him? Treat him badly? Take him for granted? If so, he’s probably happy that he’s free of you now. There’s no love lost between you. In fact, there may be a fair amount of anger and resentment there. He does anything he can to avoid you crossing his mind because it only makes him mad.
  7. You left things on really bad terms. Maybe neither of you did anything really wrong but things were fraught and toxic until the very end. You both knew leaving each other was the best thing you could possibly do. It’s best to let each other move on in peace.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love.