Not all of us are good at picking up signs. It can be especially tricky if you don’t have a lot of relationship experience just yet. It’s also important to note that asking people out can be scary for guys. While we often think they’re naturals at the art of dating, most of the time they’re just as scared and nervous as we are. That means it’s important to really focus on what he’s saying, since he may quietly be trying to get to know you. If you find yourself wondering, “Is he trying to ask me out or what?” then here are some signs that he’s looking for a date.
- He asks you to help with work. Whether it’s homework or a work project that you weren’t assigned to, this guy wants your input. Unless he’s the kind of guy to always pass other people’s work as his own, his intentions are likely in the right place. Asking for help can be a rarity for guys sometimes, so it’s okay to read into this a little bit. No matter what, he’s trying to spend more time with you, which is always good. If you’re into him as well, say yes and see what happens from there.
- He wants to know all about your favorites. Unless he’s openly taken, questions like “what’s your favorite restaurant?” often mean, “where would you want to go if we went out?” Same with questions about flowers, colors, or even music. He’s looking for things he can share with you and may be banking on his memory to impress you down the road. This question can be innocent as well, so it’s important to check the context. A good response would be something like, “Angelo’s has the best Italian food, I should take you some time!” That shows him that you’d be willing to hang out in a different setting.
- You get a text that says “what’s up?” In this move, he’s testing the waters. If this is his first text to you ever, he’s interested. Or, if you’ve been friends for a long time but have had a bit of a drought, he obviously wants to see you again or hear the latest. Did you get this text right after a breakup? In that case, he’s making himself known. You probably shouldn’t jump to a new relationship immediately, but he’s obviously heard the news. If you’re wondering “is he trying to ask me out?” and you get one of these texts, the answer is most likely yes.
- He tells you about a group hangout and makes sure you’re definitely planning on attending. This move may seem a little high school, but it works. When a guy likes you but is worried about how you feel, they might propose a group hangout with others. That way, they can still see you — and have time to impress you — but it’s much less threatening and scary for them. If you’re unsure about someone, perhaps an arrangement like this is just what you need to make your mind up. As a note, just make sure other people do plan on attending. If he’s the only one who shows when you expected more people, that’s a bit of a predatory move.
- He says something like, “I need to run an errand, want to come with me?” There’s likely no reason for you to be there. But, he’ll say something like, “I could always use the company.” Sometimes, running mundane tasks like going to the UPS Store or Walgreens can be a good way to bond. Unless this guy creeps you out, what’s the harm in joining?
- He seems curious about your schedule, especially on the weekends. Sometimes, “anything planned on the weekend?” is a good conversation filler. Other times, it’s said in order to get information. For example, if you say you’re going to a movie, he might say he also planned on seeing it. That opens up a conversation about watching it together unless other friends were mentioned. Even being able to see you at the theater may be enough of a win for him right now.
- He jokes around with you a lot. Many guys joke as a way of flirting. If it seems like he always has a comment, he may be trying to make an impression. Comments shouldn’t be hurtful. They should make you laugh, or make you feel flattered. If you feel attacked, he’s going about this the wrong way and may very well just be a bully. Oftentimes, these bits of conversation may also help him learn more about you. For example, if you’re late to a class one day, he might say something like, “Next time you stop at Starbucks before class, you could get me something!” (And if you like him, maybe you should and see what happens from there.)
- He comments negatively about other guys you date. Guys don’t really care about who their friends date unless they’re abusive, or they’re jealous. If this guy keeps saying stuff like, “Ugh, you’re still with him?” or “You deserve better,” that’s likely him saying “I’ll treat you like a queen.” Keep an eye out on this guy, since he’s probably crushing pretty hard.
