Is He Using Me For Sex? Clear Signs A Guy Only Wants To Sleep With You

You can’t lie: the sex you have with this guy is pretty good—you pretty much always finish and you never have to ask twice when you’re in the mood. However, it seems like sex is the only thing the two of you have in common sometimes. You’re really starting to like him and you’d love to be in a relationship, but you’re not sure if he’s only using you for sex. Here are the signs he’s not interested in anything with you outside the bedroom.

  1. He only wants to hang out at home. If he never wants to go out on a proper date and prefers to “hang out” (read: have sex) at home all the time, chances are he’s using you to get laid. Early in the relationship, you should be getting to know each other by going out and having fun. If you’re staying cloistered indoors every time you’re together, that’s a serious red flag.
  2. He’s not interested in the details of your life. He’s not interested in knowing about your hobbies, how things are going at work, what’s been going on with your mom who wasn’t very well last week, etc. If it doesn’t have anything to do with what goes on between the sheets, it’s hard to pique his interest. He couldn’t make it any clearer that he only wants sex, not you.
  3. He doesn’t want to hang out when he knows sex isn’t on the table. If he knows you have your period or that you’re tired after a long week at work, he’s just not interested in getting together. He plays it off like he just wants to give you time to yourself or that he’s got other plans, but the truth is that when you’re not sleeping together, he doesn’t really see the point.
  4. He gets weird when you start talking about being in a relationship. Whenever you mention the possibility of nailing things down and embarking on an actual relationship together, he suddenly gets super distant and weird and freezes up. His whole body language changes and he gets really vague or simply shuts the conversation down. It can’t possibly be clearer that he’s only using you for sex.
  5. The conversations you have always turn sexual. You might want to talk about Squid Game or the latest news story but he always somehow manages to shift the conversation to something sexual. It’s like he literally doesn’t know what to talk to you about if it doesn’t have to do with getting between the sheets.
  6. He goes AWOL for days on end. You text him the day after you have sex and get no response. And then you don’t hear from him for many more days – until he’s ready to have sex again, and then you can’t get rid of him. Who does that? A guy who’s using you, that’s who.
  7. He’s irritated when you’re not in the mood. This is the clearest sign of all. If he comes over thinking you’re going to sleep with him but you don’t really feel up to it when he arrives, he suddenly gets an attitude. It’s immature and a serious turn-off, but he doesn’t seem to get that. Get rid of him now and find a guy who values you.
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill