We all claim after a bad breakup that that’s it; this is the end and you never want to see him, talk to him, or even think of him again. Maybe that’s true, but is he in the same place? If he’s doing these things, don’t expect him to fade from your life so easily.
He drunk texts you in the middle of the night.
You wake up in the morning and you see a familiar yet unexpected name appearing on your screen. It’s your ex texting you at 3 a.m. saying things that don’t really make sense. We’ve all been guilty of sending messages when we’re drunk that we would never dream of even composing if we were sober. Repressed feelings have to come out at some point, and if your ex has already drunk texted you, he definitely hasn’t moved on.
He likes and comments on your posts on social media.
This one implies that you didn’t block each other on all social media platforms (which you should maybe consider). He randomly likes on your posts and/or posts useless comments like “nice pic.” He’s definitely trying to catch your attention, and believe it or not, he’s trying to be subtle about it. If he was trying to spy on you, he’d just browse without saying a word. If he’s talking, he wants to be noticed.
He finds excuses to talk to you.
You forgot a t-shirt at his place… before you broke up six months ago and he wants to return it to you. He asks if you still have that book he gave to you two years ago because he saw it in the store and it reminded him of it. Basically, he comes up with all sorts of stupid excuses just to get in touch with you. He just doesn’t have the ability to say he wants to talk to you so he finds pretexts. It usually means you’ll get the drunk text soon.
He regularly brings up good memories from your relationship.
He wants to make you regret the breakup so he brings up some old memories that you never forgot but didn’t particularly want to reminisce about. He reminds you of how happy you were once, how much fun you had together. He finds excuses for the bad times you went through and tells you that things have changed and that now he’s in a much better place in his life; he’s more mature. Again, always very subtle.
He discusses his current relationship problems with you.
He now uses you as his confidant, sharing his current problems in his relationship, asking you some advice, and letting you know at the same time that these problems never occurred when you two were together. He tries to get closer to you by exposing himself in a weak position so you’ll feel sorry for him and you’ll realize you never stopped loving him.
He apologizes for the things he messed up.
He shows regret and remorse for the lies, for the temper tantrums, the times he didn’t show enough how much he loved you. He tells you that he didn’t deserve you back then. He wants you to think that because he’s apologized, it means he’s a new man.
He talks about you to his friends (and your friends).
He talks about you to common friends or friends he knows will tell you about it after. He asks your friends about you. He wants to know how your life is going, if you’re happy, if you’re dating anyone, or if you talk about him sometimes. Then he tells his friends that he thinks about you sometimes and that he wonders if breaking up was the right decision.
He randomly texts you for news.
He texts you for absolutely no reason but to ask how you’re doing. He claims that something random made him think about you and he wanted to see what was up with you. Really, he just wants to know if you seem very happy since you two broke up. If not, he may think it’s a sign that you want to get back together like he does.
He asks you about your relationships.
He wants to know if you’re seeing anybody or if you’ve started dating again since you two broke up. He asks if you’re on dating apps. He tries to get as many details as he can in the least obvious way possible. If you ask him why, he’ll just say he cares about you as a friend and wants to make sure you’re happy and moving on.
He wants to meet up to talk.
After texting you using all the pretexts he could find and talking to all his friends, he finally calls or texts you to tell you he wants to meet up “to talk.” He couldn’t be vaguer, but that’s just the classic phrase when you’re about to tell someone either very bad news or, in this case, that he regrets losing you and wants to get back together.
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