Is Your Boyfriend Spying On You? 10 Signs Your Guy Is Violating Your Privacy

You’ve always been an open book with your boyfriend and you’ve never given him a reason to distrust you. However, it feels like he’s suspicious of everything you do. You might think you’re being paranoid, but what if your partner is really monitoring and spying on you? If you’re experiencing any of these 10 things in your relationship, you need to pay attention!

  1. Your phone’s feeling hotter than usual. If your phone feels hot during use or is playing up in other ways, like the screen comes on when you’re not using it, you should check for any hidden apps on it that are sucking its battery life and making it work harder. Your boyfriend might have installed an app that tracks you. Yes, it sounds dramatic, but it could happen – and he might be guilty of this if he gives you the feeling that he’s a snooper.
  2. Your laptop’s out of place. You know how you pack away your laptop when you’re not using it, so if you find that its cover is unzipped or it’s not switched off properly, that could signal your boyfriend has been snooping around.
  3. He asked you to share private messages. If your boyfriend recently suggested that you should share all your emails and WhatsApp chats with him and you said no because it’s a violation of privacy, you might now suspect him of snooping if he’s the type who can’t handle “no.” He clearly wants to get his way and control you.
  4. He “checks in.” While it might be sweet if your guy texts you when you’re out with your girls because he misses you, that should only happen once in a while. If he’s always “checking in,” you know the drill – he’s checking up on you. He wants to monitor where you are and what you’re doing.
  5. He hangs around when you’re on a call. When your phone rings when you’re at your boyfriend’s apartment, does he give you space or does he hang around at the edges of the room, acting like he’s busy with something but clearly eavesdropping? When you take the call to another room, does he find some lame excuse to follow so he can still hear what you’re saying? If he’s always lingering around, that’s a red flag.
  6. He always seems to bump into you. Whenever you’re out meeting up with loved ones or doing errands, does it seem strange when you bump into your boyfriend? Does he always seem a bit out of place? The guy could be following you to see where you go. This is not cool.
  7. He mentions things on your ig. He might not have gone through your private DMs, but maybe he regularly trawls through your social media profiles to see who’s posting on your wall and who’s liking your pics. He might then casually drop them into conversation like by asking you how you know so-and-so. Ugh, it feels so shady, like he’s watching your every virtual move.
  8. He calls at odd times. You told him you couldn’t meet him for lunch because you’re busy at work, but then he calls you just to hear your voice. If this happens regularly and it feels like he’s just trying to see that you’ll answer, then maybe he’s checking up on you. Do this the next time – don’t answer the phone and see how he reacts. He might become angry or accuse you of being up to no good, which will confirm that he’s got issues and trying to spy on you.
  9. He times you. You said you’d take 20 minutes to drive to him for your date or office and if you’re one or two minutes late, he’ll tell you about it. What, has the guy been sitting waiting for you while staring at his watch? Ugh, he might’ve been. When you seem surprised that he keeps track of how long you take to do things, he might say that he’s just worried about your safety. Ain’t buying it! The guy is tracking you because he doesn’t trust you. What the hell? Why wouldn’t he trust you?
  10. He calls your friend. If he can’t get hold of you, does he ring up your friend to see where you are or why you’re not answering? This is so dodgy, especially if he’s not good friends with her because he’s violating your privacy and independence. This guy is clearly controlling and needs to get a life.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.