When you’re trying to build that dream career and be an adult full-time, it can take a toll on your time, energy, piggy bank, and non-existent relationship. If you really like your job but it’s swallowed your chances at love, you’re not alone.
What is free time? I usually leave the office after 7 pm and by that point, I’m not even sure I can be a person anymore, let alone make myself cute enough for public outings or make it through an awkward dinner with a stranger. Statistics show the US is the most overworked developed nation in the world. It’s no wonder singles find themselves with no time to do anything, much less prioritize dating.
I wish I could multitask on dates. These days, my life is pretty much a never-ending to-do list. There are always emails to reply to, things to sign off on, a grocery list that isn’t going to shop itself and if I’m lucky, another life-changer in my Netflix queue. Safe to say (unless you’re down to Netflix and chill), none of that can be done politely while struggling through small talk with your latest Tinder match.
For love or money? As I get older, I’m much more selective about who I spend my money on. And with the average singleton spending up to $1596 on dates, all of those coffees and dinners really do add up. One thing’s for sure: I refuse to slave away at a job pulling 14-hour days to pick up the bill for some guy who a) doesn’t appreciate it and b) has no intention of being in an adult relationship. It just seems like an empty investment.
Are you even happy? If your job consumes your life and you spend most of your time being downright miserable, your resting bitch face and depressive state of mind aren’t really going to attract the love your life. Maybe a career change will be enough to shift the state of your love life as well.
Fact: you work crazy long hours. If working 14-hour days is standard in your job, you need to be aware that anyone you try and date will start to feel neglected. Even the most understanding partners will eventually tire of five-minute phone chats and canceled plans, all because you’re too tired to function.
Balance is everything. The concept of work/life balance is laughable to me right now, because I have none. But neither do 66% of full-time employees in the US alone. If you’re in a role where the idea of having a healthy, happy life, and a thriving career seems impossible, maybe you should reconsider. Because there’s no way you can factor in a committed relationship (and give your partner the time and love they deserve) if your entire life is off kilter.
Every conversation is about work. If your discussions constantly revolve around work and nothing else, it’s a safe bet that your job is hindering you from developing meaningful relationships. There’s no way you can get to know a person if you’re not sharing anything (interests, hobbies, stories) other than how much you hate your boss.
Your colleagues pick apart any guy you’re dating. If your co-workers constantly poke fun at the guys you’re dating—”Oh, he doesn’t have a degree? Oh, he doesn’t have a company car?”—it can seriously derail your view of your partner an any kind of romance you may be nurturing. And if you persist with the relationship, women are often the ones accused of marrying down or lowering their status for the sake of their relationship. In either case, you need to distance yourself from your workmates or get a new job.
When your job sends you away, dating isn’t easy. Being in a job that constantly has you traveling for work, or never lets you put down roots in a city long enough to build a healthy relationship is hard on everyone. You do eventually get to a point where you avoid meeting new people because the hassle is all too real.
It’s not you, it’s him. Do consider that some guys have a serious issue with a career-driven, intelligent woman, even though it’s no longer rare for women to out-earn their partners. I’m definitely not advising that you quit your job based on his insecurity. But regardless of who earns more, keep in mind that a less confident guy will steer clear of any woman who may be more successful than him. And for that, you should be thankful. Bye, Felicia!
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