Even if it’s only been a few months, if you pay close enough attention, you can probably tell whether you’re in a possible long term relationship or not. After all, many of the warning signs that you’re in a dead end relationship are obvious within the first few weeks or months.
Even if it’s not meant to last for decades, that doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun while it lasts. Still, knowing in advance whether the relationship has any lasting chance helps prepare you for the end. Plus, if you are looking for a more long term romance, you’ll know it’s time to move on and not waste either your time or his. Here’s how to tell your status will end up being single again sooner rather than later.
People have warned you about him. Love really is blinding. It can make the most intelligent woman oblivious to the fact that a guy just isn’t right for her. When everyone around you is telling you the relationship isn’t going to last, listen to them. While they might not be right, it’s a good sign that something is up. Mix this with any other signs and long term just isn’t in the future.
You can’t seem to click on anything. Whether it’s hobbies, interests or even choosing where to eat for dinner, the two of you don’t really click or agree. You might always feel like things are awkward or one or the other you is always forced to compromise.
You never go out together in public. Healthy couples love going out sometimes. If either one of you never wants to be seen together, it might be because the relationship isn’t serious. It could even be that one or the other of you sees it as short term or just a casual fling. Either way, it’s not good to always stay in.
You avoid friends and family. How often do you take him around your friends or family? Even when they ask, do you come up with reasons not to get together? You’re either hiding him because you know they won’t like him or you know in your heart that it’s not going to last.
You argue more than you get along. Every couple fights, even those who claim they don’t. Still, you shouldn’t fight all the time. If all you do is fight, the relationship definitely isn’t going to last. You’re obviously not meshing with each other and it’s time to call it quits.
You don’t share the same values. You don’t have to agree on everything, but it’s important to share most of the same values. This creates mutual respect and helps you better understand each other. If you don’t share the same values, you’ll find the relationship dissolving into nothing but fights.
He seems different with others. He might seem like one person with you and a stranger with his friends. It’s not unusual for him to act a little different, but if he seems like someone else completely, you know he’s not comfortable enough to be himself with you. If he can’t do that, it’ll never last.
You hold back your true self. The same holds true for you. If you’re always trying to be someone else for him, then he’s not really dating you. If you don’t feel like you can be you, then he’s not the right person to have a long term relationship with.
You constantly feel jealous. Trust goes hand in hand with long term relationships. If the thought of him talking to a female coworker or having a female friend makes you crazy jealous, you don’t trust him. The worse the jealousy is, the less likely you’ll ever make it long term with this guy.
You feel bored. No relationship is going to be an action packed adventure 24/7. There’ll be times when you’re less than enthused about spending time together. The problem is when you’re always bored with him, you’re not going to be happy. Constantly wishing you were doing anything else than being with him is a sure sign this is only a short term thing.
You’re always annoyed and frustrated. You were happy to start with, or so you keep telling yourself. Now, you spend all your time annoyed with every little thing he does or you’re frustrated that he never wants to do the things you want to. Long term relationships come with their fair share of annoyance and frustration, but it shouldn’t be constant. If you always feel like punching a way, it’s time to let the relationship go.
The sex is bland at best. Physical satisfaction is an important part of a lasting relationship. When the sex becomes bland and boring and that’s the best you can say about it, you’re heading for trouble. The lack of any real sexual satisfaction will drive a wedge between the two of you. It’s sad, but it’s true.
You feel like you need to change him. Do you find yourself saying, “He’s great, but..”? Of course every guy is going to have some flaws you’d love to change. But when you always feel like you need to change him to make him the right guy for you, there’s a problem. If he’s not right for you from the start, he’s never going to be right for you.
You’ve caught him in more than one lie. If you’re always lying to him or catching him in lies, the relationship will fail. You can’t have a long term anything if you can’t trust each other. Ask yourself if you really want to stay in a relationship that’s built on lies.
You fantasize about other people. Sexual fantasies are normal. It’s not normal to rely upon those fantasies to get you through sex with your partner all the time. It’s even worse when you find yourself fantasizing about being with someone else to eat dinner, cuddle while watching TV or snuggle up with at night. Your mind is trying to tell you something and you should listen.